Thursday, August 20, 2015

17 Weeks!

The weeks are starting to FLY by! I love it! Feeling great this week, a little tired, and SUPER hungry.. but great!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015
What fruit are you: Onion - totally not a fruit! right?!
How far along:  17  weeks
Next appointment:  March 27th (tomorrow!!)
Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +7 lbs 
Exercise:  same routine.. cycle on Monday nights and the gym in the AM (or middle of the night..)
Stretch marks:  None (yet!)
Swelling:  nope!
Maternity clothes: Yes, and I'm not sure why I waited so long! So comfy!
Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Pretty good, the dreams are insane lately, and the middle of the night pee run is always fun!
Food cravings: Cereal, pizza, fruit, salad and Chinese. I've been hungry this week! I've done pretty well avoiding the temptations I think!
Food aversions: Eggs
Symptoms: Crazy dreams! A little back pain and some bloating (boo!)
Movement:  Nothing yet.. I'm patiently waiting!
Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and more sushi
What I'm loving:  Feeling so good! The sweet comments I've received from friends and family have made me feel so good and special! Thank you!!
What I'm looking forward to: My appointment tomorrow, and feeling this baby move! Oh yeah, and finding out if it's a boy or girl!
Best moment this week: St George was an absolute blast! K bug was so much fun and rocked it at her competition! Also the Jazz game this week with the fam, and my pretty mom's birthday!

Milestones:  Baby is developing hard bones in place of cartilage, and further developing sense of sight, sound, smell and touch
Goals: Stop focusing on the scale, and enjoy every moment of this. All the body changes included!

16 weeks!

Hello 16 weeks! I feel like I have popped this week! The belly is there and there is no denying it! I can't suck in when I try! It's been a much better week and my spirits are high! I can't wait to feel this baby!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015
What fruit are you: Avocado
How far along:  16  weeks
Next appointment:  March 27th
Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +7 lbs  (yikes!)
Exercise: 4 days this week - cycle, weights/cardio
Stretch marks:  None (yet!)
Swelling:  nope!
Maternity clothes: I plan to wear my maternity capris and shorts this weekend! Can't wait for some comfort!!
Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Good! Still waking up at least once to pee
Food cravings: Cereal, carbs, pizza
Food aversions: Eggs
Symptoms: Headaches and congestion
Movement:  Nothing yet
Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, wine
What I'm loving:  Finally looking like I'm pregnant! Sharing excitement with family and friends, my chats with Kailee about baby.
What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment, St George, feeling the baby move!
Best moment this week: Having lunch with Jamie and having her use the word 'tiny' to describe my belly. Girl, you have NO idea how much I needed that! ;)
Milestones:  Sex is now detectable by ultrasound, baby can hear music and mommy's voice!
Goals: Continuing to work out, clean up my eating, and make sleep more of a priority. Get to bed on time, rest when I can, etc.

15 weeks!

Hello, week 15! This week had a few emotional struggles, but feeling much better today!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015
What fruit are you: Orange
How far along:  15  weeks
Next appointment:  March 27th
Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +5 lbs
Exercise: 4 days this week - cycle, weights/cardio
Stretch marks:  None (yet!)
Swelling:  nope!
Maternity clothes: It's been more tempting then ever. Today is the first day in weeks I've wore a fitted shirt. There is no hiding to do anymore! Though I still just look chubby (to me), that is one HARD bump! Especially in the evenings after eating during the day. I know it must be baby when I had a VERY light dinner last night (like 5 cheezits!) and went to the gym this morning, and there is still a noticeable bump!
Belly button: Inny

Sleep: Good! Still waking up at least once to pee
Food cravings: fruits! Cold cereal and carbs. And as always, S&V chips
Food aversions: This week has been cooked veggies. The smell? Yuck! Raw is fine, cooked? No thanks! and still eggs
Symptoms: Fatigue, bloat, a few more headaches, congestion (who knew?)
Movement:  Nothing yet
Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, and a flat(er) tummy
What I'm loving:  Finally looking a little pregnant! I think I'm almost past that awkward 'in-the-middle' phase! ;)
What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment! St George next weekend and a weekend with family
Best moment this week: Kailee was leaving our house and gave me a big hug and kiss good bye, she took a few steps, turned around and came back in and said to my belly "oh there's baby! Bye!" :) it was too cute!
Milestones:  Making it through my 3 day emotional train wreck :) Baby's legs are finally longer than his/her arms
Goals: Continuing with work outs and cleaning up my eating and my attitude!

14 weeks!

Hard to believe the first trimester is officially over! I still feel great, and feel so lucky to not have had any morning sickness at all. I read posts on the forums I follow and there are so many women who are SO sick, I just feel so blessed to have been this healthy so far. I am still hitting the gym at least 4 times a week (trying for 5-6) and that has helped with my sleeping. I find on days I don't work out, I just don't sleep as well. The eating depends on the day. I try very hard, but sometimes I just have to eat what sounds good. I was recommended this survey to do with my weekly updates and figured it'd be the easiest way to track my pregnancy. Plus, its kind of fun to see things change week to week/ month to month!
Due date:  Sept 3, 2015
What fruit are you: Lemon
How far along:  14  weeks
Next appointment:  March 27th
Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss: +3 lbs overall  (scary to type this every week, but this should help me stay accountable!)
Exercise: 4-6 days per week. Cycle, weights, cardio
Stretch marks:  None (yet!)
Swelling:  nope!
Maternity clothes: I haven't worn any yet, but did buy some over the weekend. OMG! All of you who gave me advise NOT to wait, were so right! Those pants? HEAVEN! I'm holding off another week or two, but I am so excited to be more comfortable and ditch the elastic around my button!  If I could live in my sweat pants, I would!
Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Good! Waking up at least once to pee, but fall right back to sleep!
Food cravings: fruits! I've eaten almost half a pineapple this morning! and Salt and Vinegar chips, sandwiches and cold cereal.
Food aversions: I've had a hard time with meats, but that is getting better! and eggs, yuck!
Symptoms: Fatigue - getting much better, bloat
Movement:  Nothing yet
Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, clear skin, feeling thin
What I'm loving:  Sharing the excitement with others!
What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment! Looking pregnant, not chubby.
Best moment this week: Sharing our news!
Milestones:  1st trimester is in the books!
Goals: Continuing with work outs and cleaning up my eating 

Sharing Our Big News!

We've had so much fun sharing our news the past couple of weeks! All of our family and friends have been incredibly supportive and genuinely happy for us! It's been amazing and we've felt so loved! All of the silly things I worried about were quickly put to rest, and I can't thank you all enough! :)

March 2nd on the way to dinner after picking up Riley from the airport, we VERY last minute decided to tell my family. It was the only time in the near future we were all going to be in the same room. We decided to tell Kailee on the way to dinner so she could be in on this too! We told her in the car on the drive to Layton from Salt Lake City. Kailee's response was absolutely the best! Her little jaw dropped and she just kept looking back and forth at Jake and I with this big grin! She was so sweet after and chose to announce it to everyone at dinner, which surprised me with how shy she can be, and her knowing everyone would be freaking out after hearing, but she insisted that she wanted to do it and that made me so happy! She ended up telling several others for us too, it was sweet! :) She also made several references to the baby long after we talked about it and since has seemed to really get that this is actually happening! So much fun!

We announced to most of our families (those not done in private) with these T-shirts :) We had so much fun changing and then walking out and waiting for everyone to get it. If they looked at K's first, they got it quick.. but a few looked at Jake's like it was another one of his goofy T-shirts he wears ;). The sweetest was my grandpa Giles' face. He looked at Jake's shirt, and then mine and just got this big surprised face! It was so cute! :) Jake, Kailee and I had so much fun 'betting' on who would have the biggest and happiest reaction and we were mostly right! That was so fun!

Once again, thank you all for your support and love! We are so excited and it feels even better than I could have imagined to have you all happy and excited with us!! And it feels EXTRA good to not have any more secrets!

Uncle Riley Is Home!

Best. Day. Ever!!

(March 2, 2014) I had butterflies all day long, and 4:07 couldn't get here fast enough! My baby brother is finally home! Seeing his cute face walking down that escalator had to be a top 5 moment of my life! It really was amazing! He is so tall and so dang handsome! I love that he let Linds and I hug him at least 20 times, and he gave REAL hugs! We are all so proud of him and his decision to serve. I know the people of the Macon, Georgia loved him as much as he loved them! I am so happy to have him home! We love you SO much Riley Boy! WELCOME HOME!!!! 
Patiently (or not!) waiting at the airport!

Kiddos waiting for Uncle Riley to come down the escalator

Our family together again! Welcome home, Riley!

12 Weeks and Weird Feelings

So I have officially hit the 12 week mark, and little baby is still a secret. Minus Austin, of course! It's been a little bit harder, as having a baby, and pregnancy has seemed to come up A LOT lately. I feel like an awful person and liar to those who've asked if we're still trying, or if there is any news yet.. Its HARD for me to lie! I'm a little surprised ya'll haven't busted me! Other than my sister who asks nearly EVERY time I see her (for the past 2+ years) 'are you pregnant?', and every time for the last month and a half I have answered 'yes'. Albeit, sarcastically, I have said yes! Luckily she hasn't caught on yet! ;) Just a few more days and we'll finally get to share our news! I think the trickiest part for us has been the when and how.. We have so many family members and people close to us we want to tell privately and in person, but getting each of our families together, NEAR the same day, is TOUGH! With Tyler and Riley coming home so close together, we feel like it's perfect timing for big family get together's. Though one thing we've worried about is not wanting to take the spotlight off of these amazing men just returning from their missions, so hopefully we can find a good way to do it! :).

I am still feeling great! I've had no morning sickness, and the fatigue and bloat are so much better! My only issue lately has been some food aversions. Meat is the worst. Or preparing and then eating that meal? no thanks! It really happened maybe two to three times in the first 10 weeks, and the last two it's been almost constant. I've had to gag food down that I've prepared and brought for lunch because it was my only option. I've always loved leftovers and meal prepping for the week, but that may have to change for a little bit! ;) All I want is a sandwich, still.. in fact, I had Jimmy Johns today! :) I know, I know.. deli meat.. I've decided not to be paranoid about all of those little things. I understand and completely respect the concern for listeria.. But to be honest, some of that seems a little much to me. I'm just trying to do what's best for me, my body and now my baby.. and the rest of the things that are 'questionable' I will leave as that and do/eat as I see fit. Judge away! ;)

It feels nice to finally have some energy back, though by Friday's I'm pretty pooped! We started going to the gym in the mornings the last few weeks.. Now, by morning, I mean my first alarm goes off at 3:30 am.. So technically, we're getting up in the middle of the night to hit the gym! ;) It is worth it though to have the flexibility to leave the office a little later than normal, or go home and do laundry, cleaning, etc. instead of having to hit the gym first. Plus, the parking lot at 4:00 am? Empty! We don't ever have to wait for a piece of equipment so our workouts go much faster! It makes it worth it most days!

I haven't gained any weight so far which has been nice. I promised myself I wouldn't be too concerned over the pounds, but after dropping nearly 40 in the past two years, its somewhat of a mental game. That sounds incredibly selfish, right? Again, judge away! I'm working through it! This last week I have definitely felt much thicker around my stomach area though, and my smallest jeans are getting a bit tight around the belly. I'm starting to feel like I look a bit chunky.. ;) It might be time to invest in the belly band, not ready for maternity clothes just yet! ;)

This week has been a strange one for me. I've felt a lot of sadness, fear, and guilt.. For lots of reasons and some of them don't need to be named. I am definitely feeling emotional, and according to Jake I've liked picking fights lately. ;) So sorry babe! I'm trying so hard not to take the burden of life and those I love and care about on my shoulders, but huge parts of me feel it. I have friends that I absolutely adore going through fertility issues. I have friends asking to make plans in the near and far future and I've been a TOTAL flake, I have a family torn in a million different directions and a brother coming home to a completely different family dynamic, my sister/best friend going through a divorce, work is the busiest it has been in years, and we are converting to a new system in June (great!) and my boss mentioned today that I can't ever have a baby (jokingly of course!), and a 7 year old who won't stop growing up! Just lots of things weighing on my mind that I wish I could fix. I know that these people will be so happy for me and support me 110%, but a part of my heart hurts with theirs. Here I am having a baby, and they are going through all of these hard and awful things. It makes me sad!

I've also felt really alone.. Now I'm going to be BRUTALLY honest here, and as I'm typing this I haven't been able to think of the right words to say to Jake about why I've become so distant with him. I worried about this before marrying him, and its nothing HE'S done. Just my own weird woman feelings. But I kind of feel like I'm bugging him when I talk about the pregnancy lately. And really, I don't talk about it a whole lot. He rarely brings it up anymore, other than to make sure I'm eating, feeling okay, not pushing it too hard in our cycling class, etc. this is in NO way a bash on him. It's just one of those moments where I feel like he's 'been there, done that'.. and this is all so new to me. None of this makes sense to anyone else, I'm sure.. and that's okay! These are feelings I have and getting them 'out' in whatever sense I can has always been my therapy. And the truth is, he HAS been there and done that.. And without that I wouldn't have Kailee or her mom in my life and for that I am SO grateful.. But I do feel alone. Most of that, I'm sure is that no one knows yet, and now we've known for almost 8 weeks. I guess I just want to have someone I can turn to, and say 'is this normal?'. I know soon I will, and I'm really looking forward to that day! Until then, I am so thankful for Jake and how loving and caring he is, and maybe it's me who needs to open up more about it. He takes such good care of me, he really does. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was REALLY excited to have a woman to talk to about all of this! :) I guess more than alone, I feel like I'm hiding from people and situations, and that is SO not me!!  I'm normally such an open book so this has been strange!

To those of you who've asked and I've brushed it off, or straight up LIED, I'm SO sorry!! There have been many of you. I feel so guilty about it! I hope someday you all understand with the chaos in our lives, we've kind of wanted to, and needed to keep this to ourselves until we know everything is okay not just with baby, but with LIFE! Our next appointment is a week from today, and I will officially be out of that first trimester, and then I promise.. NO MORE LYING! :) I love you all, and I know you all love me too and will be so happy for us, despite what may be going on in your own lives. And for that, I can't thank you enough! It takes a big heart and a mature person to look past their own hurt and situation and be happy for someone else. So, thank you! For being patient, for being understanding and for loving us no matter what! :)

To end this what turned into quite the depressing blog post, I am beyond thrilled, elated and blessed to be pregnant with this baby! To think, God is trusting ME with a human being and to be someone's full time mommy? It still blows me away and brings a tear to my eye! I am so happy and so excited for our little family and our future! All things that are worth it, are scary! This baby will be one of the biggest blessings of so many lives, and for that, I am beyond thankful! I get butterflies every day when I look in the mirror and for the first time, feel that there is someone else with me at all times. I love the feeling I get when I'm laying in bed and I put my hand on my tummy and KNOW that there is a baby in there. Someone who will someday call me mommy, and that makes my heart happier than I could ever put in to words on a blog! I am so so so very happy and excited for the next year of life for our little family! I'm so excited for Jake to be a daddy again, for Kailee to be a big sister, for so many things! It's going to be an amazing year!!

1st Doctor Visit

January 23rd- our first appointment! Everything went well and looked great! I'm exactly on track with a due date of September 3rd and my blood work all came back great! We did an abdominal ultrasound, so we couldn't hear the heartbeat, but we could see it! That was very cool! I absolutely love my doctor and can't wait to go back again when things have progressed even further!

We are so excited! What a fun day and memory for Jake and I!

I am still feeling great! Incredibly tired and sore boobs, but that is about it! I feel SO lucky to not have had any morning sickness!

We can't wait for this new chapter in our lives and to grow our little family! What a blessing it is!

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Cabo baby!! No, wait... Puerta Vallarta!

(Update From Sept 2014) We had been counting down this trip for MONTHS! We booked it in January of 2014 and had a countdown going all year long. We worked our butts off (literally;) ) getting ready for this trip. We exercised, started clean eating, saved money, bought new suits, new clothes, made reservations at the sports bar for our games, everything. And then.. Hurricane Odile hit. We were devastated. We hadn't purchased travel insurance. We were stuck. Somehow 48 hours before our trip, 2 hours on the phone with the booking company, hours of searching the internet, and 2 hours on the phone with Expedia getting it fixed, we were just mere hours away from boarding our flight to a new destination! Puerta Vallarta! It was by far the craziest 24 hours of my life! Thanks Linds and Joey for not giving up on our dream vacation!!
Airport fun!

Love this sister of mine!

Lucky for me, we flew out on my 27th birthday! How fun is that?! We flew out at 6:00 am so it was an early start! Arrived in P.V. mid afternoon and spent the next 6 days at the most beautiful resort! We checked in, grabbed a few dinner reservations and checked out the resort! The first night we weren't able to get into any of the restaurants, so we hit their buffet. BEST. FOOD. EVER! I was reallllly worried about the food. We did this trip the all inclusive route so I was terrified the food would be horrible, but it was fantastic! Might be why I gained a good 6 lbs! ;) We spent the evening walking around, getting settled and eating. We were all pretty tired from our day of travel so we went to bed pretty early that night! The next few days were spent at the pool, on a tour of the distilleries, getting massages, watching football and more eating! ;) It was such an amazing trip full of so many memories!
Our gorgeous resort!

View from our room

Some of the highlights :
* The service! It was phenomenal!! We met so many wonderful, kind, helpful people! Octavio was our favorite waiter and Mary Chuey (sp?) our favorite waitress! They would light up anytime they saw us! They saved us tables, were extra fast with our drink orders and remembered all of our names! Awesome people who worked so hard to make sure our experience was the best!

*The best massage ever! The whole experience was incredible! We were completely pampered! Hot tubs, steam room, sauna, and even cucumber slices on our eyes! It was lovely! We had the cutest young girl helping us and handing us new towels between each place.. I have never been pampered like that! I could definitely get used to it! :)

* Pool/Beach/Sunshine. Need I say more?! It was incredible! Warm enough but not too hot. Gorgeous views and soft white sand!

*Time with my favorites. Truly, the only thing you can't ever get back is time. So glad to have spent those few days with my hubby, sister and her hubby. It truly is what life is all about!
Love him so much!
*Laughing about our 2nd NOT so great massage.. Started with a real live crab in our barely warm hot tub, and ended with Jake and I being walked in on TWICE while getting dressed/undressed from our couples massages. Thankfully one was Lindsay! That experience, was... well, WAY funny now! ;)

Anyone looking to visit Puerta Vallarta, I highly recommend it! And anyone curious about all inclusive style vacations? TOTALLY worth it! :) Such a great experience!
Boys at the tequila distillery
Right before the 100's of bees attacked my drink! This may or may not have caused a small fight between Jake and I. ha ha! I was SO scared of them!
Our dinner, SO YUMMY!
One of our MANY nights in the Piano Bar! Now I want chili lime peanuts!
My handsome hubby in front of the pool/beach area

Update - a lot has changed in the past year. Joey and Linds are no longer married, but are both happily co-parenting Brod. It makes this trip and the memories even more special for us, as they were some of their last happy times! So thankful to share them with the two of them. We love them a lot, together or not! :)

Kailee's First Day of School - 3rd Grade!

There is something so refreshing and exciting about that first day back to school! The new clothes, friends, teachers, etc. But this day has definitely changed for me since Kbug came into my life. I think about her ALL day and wonder if she’s having fun, if she’s nervous, if she’s being nice to everyone, if everyone is being nice to her, if she’s eating her lunch, etc!
I’ve been incredibly emotional when it comes to her lately. Almost over analyzing every action, word and behavior just worrying about how she’s going to handle this big change from being the only child, to being a sister. I’m not sure why I worry so much, every 'change' she’s faced so far in her life she has blown us all away with how she has handled and conquered it with a happy smile and open heart! I am sure this will be no different!
She turns 8 next week, and for the last 5 years, she’s been my world. She holds such a huge piece of my heart that I can’t imagine there is any more in there to give. I think about all the things we’ve taught her, and all the things we’ll continue to teach her, and they are NOTHING compared to what she has taught us! I feel SO blessed to have had her as ‘mine’ for these past 5 years, and so lucky to have Jake, Angie and Jason to share her with. To have them to lean on and learn from. I think about how dang lucky we all are that she is the amazing kid she is. She loves us all so much, she has no clue that her situation is ‘different’. That it isn’t normal for most kids to have to say good bye to two parents as often as she does and to live in two different homes with so many different families and situations to juggle. But she gives us ALL big hugs and tells us ALL she loves us every time we 'exchange', and it makes it so much easier! She is always so happy and ready for whatever is ‘next’! We are SO lucky to have her. She has no idea what she’s taught me, and all of us really, through her example of accepting everyone and being so open to love us all. She’s incredible and I never want her to forget it!
We are all so proud of you K, and love you SO much! I hope you have the best first day EVER! You are going to rock 3rd grade, girlfriend! I just know it!
Growing up WAY too fast!

Kailee and her friend Emma who is in the same class!

And she's off!!

Love her SO much!
We went to back to school night last night where she got to meet her teacher, Mrs. Hodges. She got to choose her own desk and write her name on her name tag, Emma walked in not too long after and chose the desk right next to Kailee! Always fun to have a familiar face in class! We ended the night at JCW's (parents choice!). It's always so nice to spend a night all together, and I know K loves it a lot! She facetimed us with her outfit choice (awesome choice) and for help with shoes, I think she did great! Love her cute face!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Bumpdate - 9 weeks

It's been another two weeks, and I never thought I'd say this, but time is FLYING! Little babe is still a secret. Mostly. Only one person knows and that is Austin. Jake's brother lives in ND and works up there for 6 weeks and then comes home for 2 weeks. Since he was leaving a few weeks before we were ready to share our news, and Jake wanted to tell him in person, we told him after the Super Bowl. He was so sweet, it made me really excited to share in a few weeks with the rest of our family and friends!

I am feeling great still! I feel SO lucky to have not had one single moment of morning sickness (knock on wood). I am incredibly tired and quite bloated (YUCK!) but no other symptoms are constant. I have had a few food aversions and the thought of raw meat is a pretty yucky to me, but once it's cooked I'm fine to eat it! I don't eat as much of it as I used to, so that's good and bad I guess.

I have noticed I'm really hungry.. a lot! I don't really crave anything, just hungry really fast. I mean, how much can that little tiny strawberry take up!? I also have wanted sandwiches constantly, which is really strange considering that's always what Jake wanted and I NEVER wanted a sandwich. Sandwiches are for picnics, not for meals ;) BUT, lately a big ol' COLD sandwich sounds amazing! Unfortunately you have to be super careful with deli meats.. boo! I have eaten a few wraps, but have to heat my meat to steaming before I eat. I honestly don't know how careful you REALLY have to be with a lot of this stuff. Some of it sounds like MAJOR paranoia to me, and super annoying. Ha. I try to just think logically. I don't research every tiny thing or stress over the 'can I or can't I'. No thanks! But that is another reason I am really excited to share our news.. Advise and tips! Man, if someone could tell me how to get rid of this bloat, I'd be one happy camper! I get the exhausted feeling, I know what my body is doing.. but the bloat?! Is that necessary!? I'm going to get fatter by the day for the next 9 months, can I at least enjoy this stage where the baby is so small without having to wear baggy shirts?! UGH! ;) I won't complain though..  I can still wear all of my normal clothes, I just feel uncomfortable in anything tight. Plus, I feel so blessed and so excited to be carrying a little one. I never pictured this day for myself, as much as I wanted it and have worried about it over the years, I never thought I could really BE pregnant. I'm just so grateful to feel so good and healthy.

I have been working out just like before, after my doctors okay, I told myself I wasn't going to start slacking and use the pregnancy as an excuse. Food on the other hand? Yikes. I have some work to do! I still eat pretty healthy, just more treats and snacks (chips) than normal and I'm sure that is part of the bloat.

Jake has been incredible so far. Always double checking to make sure I'm not overdoing it in our cycling class, letting me sleep in on weekends, and doesn't get upset with me for wanting to go to bed at 8:30 every night! :) We even fell asleep on the couch last Friday before 9:00 pm! At least I have an excuse, he on the other hand.. ;) He is starting to speak of and to 'the baby' more often and I think it's all really sinking in for him too. He looks at me in the sweetest ways and speaks to me so soft and kind. Not that he hasn't always been pretty amazing and patient with me, but it's even more so  now! He's the best!

Kailee still doesn't know and she is the one I am most anxious to tell. Definitely not expecting a big reaction right away, its just not her personality with BIG news.. Disneyland surprise, anyone? ha ha. But just for her to go through this process with us. To talk about it, work through any of her fears or nerves. This is going to be life changing for her. I hope for the good, but I'm sure there will be lots of days when she misses how it 'used to be'. But I am excited to see her be excited! She told me a few months ago that she is the only 'only child' in her class, 'even Mrs. Raynes has siblings'. She didn't say it in a sad way, but just in a strange voice, so we talked about how lucky she has been to be the center of attention for so long, but I just know she is going to be the most protective and loving big sister! I hope she is excited to get a sibling as we are that she will have one. We'll see ;)

Here is the official 7 week 'bump' or bloat ;)

Happy New Year 2015! It's about to get a whole lot crazier around here!

I was late. By about a week. I just KNEW it... I woke up really early on New Years Day, and headed straight to the restroom.. I couldn't wait for Jake to wake up! I peed on the stick (TMI?) and waited for a whopping 10 seconds before the digital popped up. PREGNANT.  I remember sitting there on the toilet with my hand over my mouth and tears in my eyes.. It was a quiet moment alone I'll never forget. I sat there feeling so excited, so nervous and so very thankful! We had only been trying since the beginning of November, and I certainly didn't expect it to happen so fast. I know it doesn't for so many, and we feel incredibly thankful and blessed. I took a moment and let myself feel it all. Then I ran back to the bedroom with proof!

Jake was still sleeping peacefully, so I laid down for a moment and tried to wait for him to wake up. I think I lasted a whole 30 seconds before nudging him. He leaned over and I whispered "we're pregnant' in his ear. He quickly sat up and said 'what?!'. I showed him the test.. After reassuring him I hadn't peed on the part I was holding we hugged and just laughed and smiled for the entire morning. It was a feeling I've never felt. A total out of body experience. One of those, this can't be happening right now moments. But it was! And I wanted to soak up every moment and every emotion. From that moment on, he's been filling up my water cup as fast as he can, urging me to drink more, telling me I need to eat, encouraging naps and making sure I don't do ANY extra lifting.. ;) He's already been so amazing!

That day was a strange one.. We had Kailee later that day and half of me was just dying to tell her. The other half (and my husbands threats!) knew better. It was still way too early, and too much to risk to get her heartbroken. She was different that day. To the point I had to take a time out from her. She just wasn't her normal K bug and of course, that got my mind racing! Could she sense something was about to change? Just a little grumpy or tired? Luckily she we snapped out of it and we were able to enjoy the rest of the night as a family, and that made my heart happy! As I type this, it's still a secret, and I'm not quite sure how she'll take it. Some days I know she really wants a baby brother or sister. And other days I think that she loves our families just the way they are and its going to be a big adjustment for her. She's been the center of attention at both homes for so long, that this could very well rock her world. Will she hold resentment? Will she be so excited to be a big sister? Will she be scared of becoming "second place"? I couldn't help but feel so excited and so nervous for her. She is an amazing little girl who just continues to amaze all of us when thrown in these situations, but I still worry about her. I want her to be happy and never feel like she is anything less than our world! I know it will all work out and be okay, but it's a true concern. I know she'll be the most amazing sister and helper, that's one thing I know for sure!! I'm sure this little one will grow up feeling like they have two mommies at our house and absolutely worship Kailee bug! And that puts my heart and mind at ease. She will be such an amazing example!

There is also a weird fear that not many will understand. What if I love Kailee more? Ha. I know, it sounds funny to even say that as this little human is actually growing in my tummy and I met Kailee when she was just barely 3 years old.. But I've never felt a love like I have for Kailee.. Will it be the same? It's all so scary to think! She's been so easy and so much fun that sometimes I forget that she's still a kid we have to parent. She is that easy! I know there is no way I can get that lucky again! I mean, she was basically potty trained, and minus that first few months of getting to know each other and accidents, that was the hardest it ever was. She has always slept through the night, ate normal foods, and knew the basics. This time I have to teach all that?! It's a strange thought. And though there aren't many people who get it from my side, that's okay. I have to voice it here, because I'm sure someday I'll come back and laugh at all my crazy fears! :) But one thing I never want to forget, is how thankful I am to have Kailee in my life and I'll never take for granted all the hard days and nights that Jake and especially Angie put in to make her so special..

I have been so lucky up to this point and have felt amazing! Other than super sleepy, and sore boobies, I haven't experienced anything too bad. No morning sickness at all! (knock on wood!) I did have severe back pain before I even knew I was pregnant but luckily that has gone away. As of today my estimated due date is September 3rd. I am 7 1/2 weeks along, so this is all pretty new. I've known for just over two weeks and its a hard secret to keep! I've had to avoid situations with friends and family a lot because I want to spill the beans so bad! I know its way too early, but it doesn't make it any easier :) I know our families and friends will all be so happy and excited for us, they've been waiting a long time for this!

Side note- I mentioned my lower back pain, well it was SO bad for a good 3-4 weeks. So bad that on Sunday the 4th of January I ended up at Instacare in so much pain I thought for sure it was a kidney infection! I was so worried to take Kailee because I knew I'd have to tell them that I had tested positive and I didn't want her to hear anything, so we took her to her mom and Jason before going. I'm so glad she didn't come, because we waited 2 1/2 hours to be told that yes, I am pregnant and that is where the back pain is coming from. Who knew?! I didn't even realize that was a symptom, but apparently it is pretty common. He told me I could take Tylenol and luckily it gave me some relief. I also think that is when it really hit Jake that this was happening. Someone else, besides me saying the P word ;)

We have our first appointment on Friday, the 23rd of January which puts me at just over 8 weeks! I can't wait to have a little confirmation that we are going to be mommy and second time daddy soon! :) I know no one knows this yet, but I have to document here to read later! Its the craziest feeling and I want to remember it all! Here goes a crazy year we won't ever forget! :) Goodbye life as we knew it and hello baby!

Here is a picture from the day I found out. Happy New Years Day 2015!