Hank's Birth Story

I have to get this all down before I forget too many of the details of truly the BEST. DAY. EVER! After the stress of the last few weeks, not wanting him to be born on Kailee's birthday, then needing him to hurry and get here before the baptism, it's nice to now just remember that time in our lives as the most amazing time that it truly was!

Wednesday, September 2nd 2015. My last day at work until November! I was strangely calm all day, I was excited but didn't feel overly anxious or stressed. I knew no matter what that TOMORROW my baby would be in my arms! The day went by pretty fast, we only worked until 2 pm and then it was off to get Kailee from the bus to spend some time with her. The only time I ever got emotional during my entire pregnancy it was about her.. I worried about EVERYTHING! How she was feeling, what she was thinking, how she was going to handle this change, how WE as parents to just one were going to handle this change.. everything that made me nervous revolved around our Kbug! I can now say, I worried too much. I over thought everything. I stressed WAY more than I needed, or was healthy. It was bad. It wasn't that I didn't give her credit, I knew she would be amazing as a sister, it was just a big change. Going from life and our time completely revolved around her, to now a baby too, it was just strange. I never wanted her to feel left out or like she was loved any less. We left Lehi (in tears) about 8 pm. I hugged her one more time as our only child, it was bittersweet! Then it was home to Riley and Cheyanne waiting for us, this sweet (almost) sister of mine offered to fill my lashes so they would be perfect for all the pictures that were sure to come in the next few days. She's the sweetest and best lash artist ever! Love her!

After lashes Riley and Chey left so Jake and I finished packing our hospital bags and climbed into bed about 11 pm. I was sure I wasn't going to be able to sleep, I mean, tomorrow I am having a BABY! Let me tell you what, going to bed knowing it was the last night I'd be pregnant, the last night I wouldn't be up with a new babe, the last night it was just Jake and I.. it was SO strange! But I crashed, waking only once to pee (again with no contractions - side eye) and fell right back to sleep. The alarm went off, and by habit I hit snooze. I rolled over only to be consumed with the most INSANE butterflies ever! I slipped out of bed and headed for the bath tub. I sat in there for a good 30 minutes. It was so quiet in the house, it was 4:30 am and I was surely the only one awake in the world, or so it felt. It was a peaceful, reflective few moments for me that I needed and now cherish. I prayed, I cried, I smiled, I got nervous, I got excited and I was a million other things all at once. It was my last morning with this belly I had grown to love, my last morning rolling out of bed like a walrus ;), my last quiet bath alone for at least a few years and it was special. I was adamant that I didn't want to be induced, but looking back and having that morning to myself and to be prepared was pretty nice!

I hated my stretch marks the moment I got them, and its not easy for me to share this picture. But I want to remember how beautiful I felt in that moment. Yoga pants, sports bra and a big ol' belly never felt more beautiful to me. Something special was sure to happen that day!

I woke Jake up and we both got ready. The night before I was told to call the hospital to verify my check in time. They told me 7 am, but to call back about 6:30 to make sure they had room for me. I was certain I'd get ready and call and they'd tell me to come in at 4:00 pm, but that wasn't the case. 7:15 it was! I was so relieved to get a morning start! Since we were about 20 minutes away from Riverton Hospital we headed right out to the car and I remember squeezing Jake's hand as we walked out the gate and telling him it would be our last time walking out without a baby! We were both so excited, but again, pretty calm! Jake was hungry but I of course, had no appetite. We swung by McDonald's and grabbed breakfast and a coffee. I hardly drank my coffee because I was so worried about us being late. Looking back I would have forced myself to eat! It's a long day and I was hungry! ;) I am NEVER late, and here we were, late to induction! So funny after all the waiting we did, that me of all people would be late that day! We pulled up to the hospital about 7:20 and my dad and grandparents were already there! I tried telling them the night before not to come down until noon or so, but they weren't having it! They were too excited too! I remember very clearly the walk from the car to the front doors. I was ready to do this! I was SO ready for my baby boy to be here! We hit the elevators and I pressed the button for the 3rd floor, Labor and Delivery. This was it! It was time! No more waiting, no more wondering.. this was it! FINALLY!

I walked in to be greeted by my grandparents and dad and then it was in to the nurses station to check in. I gave all my info and they put the hospital bracelet on me. Suddenly it was all becoming so real! I had the sweetest two nurses, that sadly for the life of me, I can not remember either of their names. One was a middle aged nurse, she had worked L&D for years. She was so sweet. The other girl was young, absolutely GORGEOUS and it was her first day! I was her first patient! She had just been hired into L&D and I was going to be her first birth as a nurse, of course she had witnessed others, but the first she was able to 'participate' as a full time nurse and not in training! Of course this young, beautiful girl was going to watch me push out a baby! That wasn't intimidating or anything! ;) Funny how long that lasted.. a whole 10 minutes! After that I am pretty sure 34534 people saw my whoo-haw and I didn't care in the slightest!

I was Group B Strep positive so I had to be on an antibiotic 4 hours prior to the doctor breaking my water. Dr Nichols came in about 8:15 on his way to the office and checked me. I was still at a 2+ but i was 100% thinned. I was a little disappointed to not be further along, but that's what I was there for! They started the pitocin about 8:45. Dr Nichols told me he'd be back on his lunch break to break my water! The family started rolling in and the next few hours were full of family and contractions! Stephanie showed up, then my mom, Riley and Cheyanne, and Lindsay. It was so nice to have so much support! They had a rule, only 4 visitors at a time in the room (besides dad). But they were so great about the big family and letting people come in and out!

I wanted to hold off on the epidural as long as possible. Oh, don't get me wrong, I wanted it! But just wanted to feel the contractions a little. Call me crazy! I didn't want to become so numb that I had cement legs. I started feeling pretty strong contractions by 10 am, and after breathing through the most painful 7 seconds, the pain would subside until the next one. They were about 5 minutes apart at that time. At 11:00 I was done being tough and ready to be comfortable so I called the nurse and told her I was ready. She checked me and I was a 4 and then called for the anesthesiologist. I was SO nervous for the epidural and was warned by the nurse not to wait too long to ask for it as he sometimes is a little while before he can get to me. The anesthesiologist was in the room in 5 minutes! I was shocked! We found out during our 15 minutes with him that he was a big Y fan, and actually headed out to Nebraska the next morning for the game. We talked football while I looked at Jake begging him not to look at the needle, I swear I was more nervous to watch Jake see it, than I was to actually get it! He held me tight and kept telling me not to be scared. I felt the numbing pokes, but just barely. He told me to hold still, but we were still talking football and the next thing I knew, I heard wrappers behind me. I couldn't believe it! I was done already! I did say 'wow, are you already done?!" and he was quick to say he was. I told him I loved him and that he was my favorite person ( I really did! haha ) and was SO relieved to have that done and to not have felt a THING! I went numb pretty quickly but could still lift my legs a little. PERFECT! I enjoyed the next hour or so with family and in NO pain. It was fun to watch the contractions on the screen and not feel them ;)



After epidural ;)

Our morning had gone about as perfect and smooth as you could possibly hope for. I heard them call Dr. Nichols right at noon and tell him I was ready. I was progressing well, and now that I had the antibiotic for the 4 hours, I was good to have my water broken! He came over and broke it about 12:45 pm. In the room at the time it was him and the two nurses. He broke my water (SO weird) and told me he'd see me tonight for baby time! He was chatting with the nurse and suddenly they all stopped and watched the monitor. Our perfect morning was about to take a scary turn. One I will never ever forget. The silence alone was deafening. The looks on their faces as they looked at each other and then the monitor and back to each other was absolutely horrifying. Dr Nichols put gloves back on and came back to my side. He started pushing on my belly. He then said "the baby's heart rate has dropped. we need to get it back up" Then quickly looked at the nurse and said "stop the pit and get her oxygen".  In two seconds she strapped the oxygen on me and I was in tears. I had no idea what was going on, but I was so scared! I had spent a lot of time with this man over the last 8 months. Most of our appointments lasted much longer than the check up because he was always chatting and telling Jake and I funny stories. This doctor now, was all business. It made me even more nervous to see the complete change in his demeanor. It was probably only a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. The next thing I knew there was another nurse in the room and he yelled to have Dr Something be ready. Guessing now the anesthesiologist in OR. He looked and Jake and I and said "guys, we've got to get your baby out". I cried and said "yes, okay whatever we need to do". They pulled out the scrubs for Jake and in 2 seconds were ready to send me off for an emergency c-section. He then reached up (TMI) and pushed around hard. I didn't feel much (THANK YOU EPIDURAL) but my whole bottom half of my body moved off the bed. Slowly, the beeping stopped and our sweet boy's heart rate started to climb. At that point there were several people in the room all staring at the monitors. It was still quiet and again, probably just a few moments but felt like eternity. He explained that when my water broke, baby slid down and must have gotten the cord wrapped around his neck. With the pushing he did, he was able to get it off somehow. I cried and cried and thanked him a million times. He put the wire monitor on baby's head to closer monitor the heart rate and told me he would be back later on to see how I was doing. Slowly everyone left the room and Jake and I just sat quietly for a moment wondering what had just happened. After that, my body was shaking uncontrollably and I was a bit nauseous. The family slowly came back in and retelling that story as each walked in my room made me realize how blessed I was to still be sitting there, and to have my sweet boy's heart at a healthy rate. It was awful! I think my nerves and the shock is what made me so nauseous and all I remember for the next hour or so was Cheyanne rubbing my feet and my mom giving me peppermint oil under my tongue to help with the nausea while my body shook constantly. It took about an hour but I finally stopped shaking and felt okay again. The family all decided to head down to grab drinks and a snack around 2 pm after my last check (I was a 6). Jake and I sat quietly and pretty soon, the pressure became unbearable.. I pushed my epidural drip for the first time, waited a few minutes and no change. After toughing it out for what felt like forever, Jake finally called the nurse and told her I was in some pain. She came in and decided to check me. She asked the younger nurse to do it this time. She did and said 'umm I think she's like an 8?". I was glad to be progressing so quickly and remember Jake saying 'good job baby, that was fast!'. Then the other nurse decided to check as well since she had been the only one checking me before. She giggled and said "Oh she's not an 8, she's a 10. That isn't the side of the cervix you feel, that is baby's head!" I was so relieved that I wasn't being a big pansy about it! It was time! She had me start a few practice pushes and let me know that 'pressure/pain' wasn't going anywhere until the baby was born! It was time!

My family returned sometime after that and walked in the door only to be yelled at by the nurse to get out! I can still hear her say 'everyone out, she is pushing!". I think they were shocked as well. This was about 3 or so. I pushed for what felt like an eternity (about an hour) and then was told to STOP pushing or this baby was coming before the doctor could get there! There were a few times my body literally was pushing itself and I was trying to stop it! It was so crazy! I remember one nurse telling the other nurse to tell Dr Nichols to hurry, and a few moments later telling him he didn't have time to scrub up. This baby was coming out!

Seeing Dr Nichols sit at the end of  my bed was one of the best and most comforting feelings I can remember! I was instantly calm. I pushed through 2-3 contractions and very clearly remember looking up at Jake feeling absolutely exhausted and he told me to keep going, he could see his head! I could just tell (and feel) that he was right there! Another push or two and we would meet our son! That final push came and out came our sweet, perfect, healthy baby boy. I knew in that moment my life was forever changed!

They placed him on my chest and all I could do was cry and say "hi baby" over and over again. He wasn't crying yet, so they didn't give me too much time before pulling him away. Jake walked over with him to the tiny station where I heard my baby boy cry for the first time! It was the greatest sound! I looked down at my arm to see poop all over, hello mommy life! That was fast! ;)

It felt like eternity before he was back on my chest, though I'm sure it was less than 3 minutes. I don't know how to ever put those moments into words other than it was the greatest day of my life.. Looking at my sweet boy and my amazing husband, and knowing I couldn't love either of them any more than I did in that very moment. It was incredible. 8lbs 6 oz 21 inches long and a perfectly healthy baby boy! A very BIG baby boy! :)

I told the nurses I was ready for my family, and I had left strict instructions that a special little girl be the first to enter the room. She walked in with the biggest smile on her face, and THAT was the moment my heart burst! My family, ALL of us together! She kissed his head and didn't stop smiling! It was truly a moment I will never forget. She was already so sweet with him. Then it was Grandma and the rest of the family in to see our little man. They were all smitten with him!

The nurse kindly told us that if I wanted to nurse, in the first hour of life was the best time to try. I am so thankful for her, she helped me get started and that sweet boy nursed like a champ! The hold she taught me was a bit uncomfortable, so after she left the room a few minutes later I switched sides and more comfortable positions. He nursed for 40 minutes! YAY! I was so extremely relived and proud of him! Those moments were so special and some I will forever cherish! The nurse walked back in and was amazed that we had not only switched sides by ourselves but that he was properly latched and still eating! Go baby boy! He loves food as much as mommy and daddy! ;)

The family was told they could meet us in the recovery room. After gathering all of our things, it was time to leave L&D and head to recovery with our perfect nameless baby! I held him as they wheeled me down to the room and stared at his sweet face the entire time! He was mine, Jake and I created this tiny human that would forever change our lives! I would relive that day and those moments a million times if I could.. I'm not quite sure how anyone who has experienced a miracle of bringng a child into this world could ever question if there is a God. It was the most amazing, spiritual, and emotional moments of my life and without question, divine! Welcome to the world, baby boy. Mama already loves you SO much!

27 weeks!

Due date:   Aug 27, 2015

What fruit are you: Bunch of bananas

How far along:  27 weeks

Next appointment:  June 5th :)

Gender:  Boy!

Total weight gain/loss:  +/- 20 lbs 

Exercise: Horrible! Turning a new leaf this next week, I miss working out!

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: Same, always on bottom and flexible on tops if they are long!

Belly button: Inny, but I have a feeling it's seeing it's last days as one! SO weird!

Sleep: Great!

Food cravings: Donuts, chips and cheese, and quesadillas on a big tortilla!

Food aversions: None
Symptoms: Heartburn at night this week, never enough to take anything but enough to bug me a bit. And I'm getting sleepy all the time again..

Movement:  Constant! But he mellows right down at night! I love him! :) His kicks make me so happy!

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and my last Summer's body ;)

What I'm loving: Sleep! ha! Movements, and feeling good!

What I'm looking forward to: Time with my family and a big hug from Grandma Jeri.

Best moment this week: Moab! We had a blast! Big hikes, great kids, awesome friends, good food and lots of fun! Can't wait to go back next year!
 

Milestones:  Baby can recognize voices, especially mommy and daddy's! We love him SO much!

21..errr 22 Weeks And it's a BOY!!!!

Best week ever! We had so much fun at our appointment and gender reveal party! Yay for baby BOY!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015 , new date of Aug 27, 2015

What fruit are you: Papaya

How far along:  22 weeks

Next appointment:  May 15th

Gender:  Boy!

Total weight gain/loss:  +/- 14 lbs 

Exercise:  Same routine. I've been getting tired much faster this week though. Gotta push through!

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: Yes! Daily now

Belly button: Inny

Sleep: Pretty good!

Food cravings: Donuts. Bad..

Food aversions: None
Symptoms: A few uncomfortable tummy moments this week, not nausea but pretty uncomfortable 

Movement:  Lots! It's been so fun! Especially active in the late afternoons/evenings. I felt my first kick this week! on the 21st

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and my normal clothes

What I'm loving:  Feeling my babe move! And how excited we are that it's a little man!

What I'm looking forward to: Finding a house. The search has begun!

Best moment this week: The appointment and gender reveal party! Holding Kailee's hand and her squeezing it as the tech told us it was a baby boy! The squeals from all three of us, and then from everyone at the party when the piñata burst open with BLUE candy! SO much fun! Kailee's chatting the ENTIRE way to the hospital about her day and the appointment, Jake's excitement all week and us looking at each other smiling and saying 'we're having a boy!'
 

Milestones:  Baby boys vital organs are now developed, from this point it's packing on that healthy fat! First kick

Goals: Enjoying every second of the house hunting adventure and not letting it stress me out!

 

20 weeks and HALFWAY to baby!

Totally said this last week, but I lied, THIS week was the best yet! I've felt great and my energy levels have been up even more! Plus its blue or pink week, so that's made it extra fun!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Banana 10 1/2 inches long and 10 1/2 oz

How far along:  20 weeks

Next appointment:  TOMORROW!! Ahh! I can't wait! 26 hours!

Gender:  Unknown until TOMORROW!

Total weight gain/loss:  +/- 14 lbs 

Exercise:  same routine and feeling stronger, which is nice since I haven't felt that since becoming pregnant. I've really pushed myself this week (safely) and it's felt AMAZING!

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: Most definitely! So comfortable! And finally got a couple of maternity workout pants. Life. Changing. :)

Belly button: Inny

Sleep: Really good the last few nights, weird dreams and nightly visits to the bathroom, but sleeping great! I really think exercise has a huge part in that!

Food cravings: Nothing too much this week. My nutrition has been better, but all the lunches and dinners with work (we've had visitors) has been killing me! Yummy, but man, not healthy! I attribute the weight gain the last couple of weeks to that! ;)

Food aversions: None that I can think of! not even eggs! Still haven't tried them, but they don't make me want to gag ;)
Symptoms: Headaches this week. Boo! But none too debilitating.

Movement:  Lots! It's been so fun! Especially active in the late afternoons/evenings.

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and my normal clothes

What I'm loving:  Feeling my babe move! LOVE!

What I'm looking forward to: Finding out tomorrow what this sweet thing is! And Kbugs dance competition on Saturday. Love to watch her dance!

Best moment this week: Making the piñata and talking about the party with Kbug! And watching her and Jake spend SO much quality time together this past weekend and last night. He is an AMAZING dad and I've loved seeing them play!
 

Milestones:  Baby is now stretching out and not curled up. Lips and eyelashes are forming!

Goals: Enjoying every second of tomorrow and my weekend with my family!

 

19 weeks - Bumpdate!

My favorite week so far! Feeling great, energy is up and sleeping great (for the most part!)

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Mango - 6 inches long, 8.50 oz

How far along:  19 weeks

Next appointment:  April 17th - The BIG one!!

Gender:  Unknown but will know in 8 days!

Total weight gain/loss:  +/- 12 lbs 

Exercise:  same routine.. getting a work out about 5-6x per week, this week was awesome and I got 6 workouts in!

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: Loving the pants especially! Got a few new tanks that I love from H&M, not maternity but plenty long.

Belly button: Inny

Sleep: Pretty good! Last night was rough. Got up at 1:38 am to pee, and didn't go back to sleep until about 3:15. The alarm went off for our gym date at 3:30. Somehow I've made it until 9:30 feeling okay, but I'm sure come 2:00 pm, I'm going to be DEAD!

Food cravings: Nothing too much this week, other than wishing I still had a few Reese's eggs left. But, that's not really a preggo craving ;)

Food aversions: Much better, haven't had any issues this week! I am almost ready to try eggs!
Symptoms: This has been a quiet week for symptoms! I had slight nausea on Sunday, but my guess is it was from all of the Easter candy, and nothing to do with being pregnant :) Other than my stupid acne, nothing to report!

Movement:  YES! Finally, on April 4th, Jake and I were riding with Linds, Riley and Cheyenne back from a day of shopping and I felt something weird. I stopped, felt again and yelled for them to turn down the radio. It happened again and several more times since! The first few felt like true turns in my stomach, and lately it's felt more like popcorn or flutters. Seriously, BEST. FEELING. EVER!

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and more sushi! :( I really just want a fresh roll from Yellowfinn.

What I'm loving:  Feeling my babe move! LOVE!

What I'm looking forward to: Gender reveal on the 17th and our party that night! I can't wait to find out and then share our excitement with family and friends!

Best moment this week: Kailee kissed my belly for the first time. MELT MY HEART :) She was leaving and gave me a hug and kiss, then the baby! It was the sweetest! We also got to spend a day together since she was off for Spring Break and I loved every second of it. She's going to be the best big sister! She's been talking SO much about the baby. She even said "hi baby, I'm your fairy God mother, and I'm turning you into a BOY! " she really wants a brother.. :) For funny reasons!
 

Milestones:  Baby is moving like crazy! And growing hair! Yay for hair! ;)

Goals: Planning this Gender Reveal! Now that we've decided to do one, I am SO excited!!

 

17 Weeks!

The weeks are starting to FLY by! I love it! Feeling great this week, a little tired, and SUPER hungry.. but great!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Onion - totally not a fruit! right?!

How far along:  17  weeks

Next appointment:  March 27th (tomorrow!!)

Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +7 lbs 

Exercise:  same routine.. cycle on Monday nights and the gym in the AM (or middle of the night..)

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: Yes, and I'm not sure why I waited so long! So comfy!

Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Pretty good, the dreams are insane lately, and the middle of the night pee run is always fun!

Food cravings: Cereal, pizza, fruit, salad and Chinese. I've been hungry this week! I've done pretty well avoiding the temptations I think!

Food aversions: Eggs
Symptoms: Crazy dreams! A little back pain and some bloating (boo!)

Movement:  Nothing yet.. I'm patiently waiting!

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi and more sushi

What I'm loving:  Feeling so good! The sweet comments I've received from friends and family have made me feel so good and special! Thank you!!

What I'm looking forward to: My appointment tomorrow, and feeling this baby move! Oh yeah, and finding out if it's a boy or girl!

Best moment this week: St George was an absolute blast! K bug was so much fun and rocked it at her competition! Also the Jazz game this week with the fam, and my pretty mom's birthday!

 

Milestones:  Baby is developing hard bones in place of cartilage, and further developing sense of sight, sound, smell and touch

Goals: Stop focusing on the scale, and enjoy every moment of this. All the body changes included!

16 weeks!

Hello 16 weeks! I feel like I have popped this week! The belly is there and there is no denying it! I can't suck in when I try! It's been a much better week and my spirits are high! I can't wait to feel this baby!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Avocado

How far along:  16  weeks

Next appointment:  March 27th

Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +7 lbs  (yikes!)

Exercise: 4 days this week - cycle, weights/cardio

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: I plan to wear my maternity capris and shorts this weekend! Can't wait for some comfort!!

Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Good! Still waking up at least once to pee

Food cravings: Cereal, carbs, pizza

Food aversions: Eggs
Symptoms: Headaches and congestion

Movement:  Nothing yet

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, wine

What I'm loving:  Finally looking like I'm pregnant! Sharing excitement with family and friends, my chats with Kailee about baby.

What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment, St George, feeling the baby move!

Best moment this week: Having lunch with Jamie and having her use the word 'tiny' to describe my belly. Girl, you have NO idea how much I needed that! ;)
 

Milestones:  Sex is now detectable by ultrasound, baby can hear music and mommy's voice!

Goals: Continuing to work out, clean up my eating, and make sleep more of a priority. Get to bed on time, rest when I can, etc.

15 weeks!

Hello, week 15! This week had a few emotional struggles, but feeling much better today!

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Orange

How far along:  15  weeks

Next appointment:  March 27th

Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss:  +5 lbs

Exercise: 4 days this week - cycle, weights/cardio

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: It's been more tempting then ever. Today is the first day in weeks I've wore a fitted shirt. There is no hiding to do anymore! Though I still just look chubby (to me), that is one HARD bump! Especially in the evenings after eating during the day. I know it must be baby when I had a VERY light dinner last night (like 5 cheezits!) and went to the gym this morning, and there is still a noticeable bump!

Belly button: Inny

Sleep: Good! Still waking up at least once to pee

Food cravings: fruits! Cold cereal and carbs. And as always, S&V chips

Food aversions: This week has been cooked veggies. The smell? Yuck! Raw is fine, cooked? No thanks! and still eggs
Symptoms: Fatigue, bloat, a few more headaches, congestion (who knew?)

Movement:  Nothing yet

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, and a flat(er) tummy

What I'm loving:  Finally looking a little pregnant! I think I'm almost past that awkward 'in-the-middle' phase! ;)

What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment! St George next weekend and a weekend with family

Best moment this week: Kailee was leaving our house and gave me a big hug and kiss good bye, she took a few steps, turned around and came back in and said to my belly "oh there's baby! Bye!" :) it was too cute!

Milestones:  Making it through my 3 day emotional train wreck :) Baby's legs are finally longer than his/her arms

Goals: Continuing with work outs and cleaning up my eating and my attitude!

 

14 weeks!

Hard to believe the first trimester is officially over! I still feel great, and feel so lucky to not have had any morning sickness at all. I read posts on the forums I follow and there are so many women who are SO sick, I just feel so blessed to have been this healthy so far. I am still hitting the gym at least 4 times a week (trying for 5-6) and that has helped with my sleeping. I find on days I don't work out, I just don't sleep as well. The eating depends on the day. I try very hard, but sometimes I just have to eat what sounds good. I was recommended this survey to do with my weekly updates and figured it'd be the easiest way to track my pregnancy. Plus, its kind of fun to see things change week to week/ month to month!

 

Due date:  Sept 3, 2015

What fruit are you: Lemon

How far along:  14  weeks

Next appointment:  March 27th

Gender:  Unknown

Total weight gain/loss: +3 lbs overall  (scary to type this every week, but this should help me stay accountable!)

Exercise: 4-6 days per week. Cycle, weights, cardio

Stretch marks:  None (yet!)

Swelling:  nope!

Maternity clothes: I haven't worn any yet, but did buy some over the weekend. OMG! All of you who gave me advise NOT to wait, were so right! Those pants? HEAVEN! I'm holding off another week or two, but I am so excited to be more comfortable and ditch the elastic around my button!  If I could live in my sweat pants, I would!

Belly button: Inny

Sleep:  Good! Waking up at least once to pee, but fall right back to sleep!

Food cravings: fruits! I've eaten almost half a pineapple this morning! and Salt and Vinegar chips, sandwiches and cold cereal.

Food aversions: I've had a hard time with meats, but that is getting better! and eggs, yuck!
Symptoms: Fatigue - getting much better, bloat

Movement:  Nothing yet

Labor signs: No

What I miss:  Sushi, clear skin, feeling thin

What I'm loving:  Sharing the excitement with others!

What I'm looking forward to: Next appointment! Looking pregnant, not chubby.

Best moment this week: Sharing our news!

Milestones:  1st trimester is in the books!

Goals: Continuing with work outs and cleaning up my eating 

 

 

Sharing Our Big News!

We've had so much fun sharing our news the past couple of weeks! All of our family and friends have been incredibly supportive and genuinely happy for us! It's been amazing and we've felt so loved! All of the silly things I worried about were quickly put to rest, and I can't thank you all enough! :)

March 2nd on the way to dinner after picking up Riley from the airport, we VERY last minute decided to tell my family. It was the only time in the near future we were all going to be in the same room. We decided to tell Kailee on the way to dinner so she could be in on this too! We told her in the car on the drive to Layton from Salt Lake City. Kailee's response was absolutely the best! Her little jaw dropped and she just kept looking back and forth at Jake and I with this big grin! She was so sweet after and chose to announce it to everyone at dinner, which surprised me with how shy she can be, and her knowing everyone would be freaking out after hearing, but she insisted that she wanted to do it and that made me so happy! She ended up telling several others for us too, it was sweet! :) She also made several references to the baby long after we talked about it and since has seemed to really get that this is actually happening! So much fun!

We announced to most of our families (those not done in private) with these T-shirts :) We had so much fun changing and then walking out and waiting for everyone to get it. If they looked at K's first, they got it quick.. but a few looked at Jake's like it was another one of his goofy T-shirts he wears ;). The sweetest was my grandpa Giles' face. He looked at Jake's shirt, and then mine and just got this big surprised face! It was so cute! :) Jake, Kailee and I had so much fun 'betting' on who would have the biggest and happiest reaction and we were mostly right! That was so fun!

 

Once again, thank you all for your support and love! We are so excited and it feels even better than I could have imagined to have you all happy and excited with us!! And it feels EXTRA good to not have any more secrets!

12 Weeks and Weird Feelings

So I have officially hit the 12 week mark, and little baby is still a secret. Minus Austin, of course! It's been a little bit harder, as having a baby, and pregnancy has seemed to come up A LOT lately. I feel like an awful person and liar to those who've asked if we're still trying, or if there is any news yet.. Its HARD for me to lie! I'm a little surprised ya'll haven't busted me! Other than my sister who asks nearly EVERY time I see her (for the past 2+ years) 'are you pregnant?', and every time for the last month and a half I have answered 'yes'. Albeit, sarcastically, I have said yes! Luckily she hasn't caught on yet! ;) Just a few more days and we'll finally get to share our news! I think the trickiest part for us has been the when and how.. We have so many family members and people close to us we want to tell privately and in person, but getting each of our families together, NEAR the same day, is TOUGH! With Tyler and Riley coming home so close together, we feel like it's perfect timing for big family get together's. Though one thing we've worried about is not wanting to take the spotlight off of these amazing men just returning from their missions, so hopefully we can find a good way to do it! :).

I am still feeling great! I've had no morning sickness, and the fatigue and bloat are so much better! My only issue lately has been some food aversions. Meat is the worst. Or preparing and then eating that meal? no thanks! It really happened maybe two to three times in the first 10 weeks, and the last two it's been almost constant. I've had to gag food down that I've prepared and brought for lunch because it was my only option. I've always loved leftovers and meal prepping for the week, but that may have to change for a little bit! ;) All I want is a sandwich, still.. in fact, I had Jimmy Johns today! :) I know, I know.. deli meat.. I've decided not to be paranoid about all of those little things. I understand and completely respect the concern for listeria.. But to be honest, some of that seems a little much to me. I'm just trying to do what's best for me, my body and now my baby.. and the rest of the things that are 'questionable' I will leave as that and do/eat as I see fit. Judge away! ;)

It feels nice to finally have some energy back, though by Friday's I'm pretty pooped! We started going to the gym in the mornings the last few weeks.. Now, by morning, I mean my first alarm goes off at 3:30 am.. So technically, we're getting up in the middle of the night to hit the gym! ;) It is worth it though to have the flexibility to leave the office a little later than normal, or go home and do laundry, cleaning, etc. instead of having to hit the gym first. Plus, the parking lot at 4:00 am? Empty! We don't ever have to wait for a piece of equipment so our workouts go much faster! It makes it worth it most days!

I haven't gained any weight so far which has been nice. I promised myself I wouldn't be too concerned over the pounds, but after dropping nearly 40 in the past two years, its somewhat of a mental game. That sounds incredibly selfish, right? Again, judge away! I'm working through it! This last week I have definitely felt much thicker around my stomach area though, and my smallest jeans are getting a bit tight around the belly. I'm starting to feel like I look a bit chunky.. ;) It might be time to invest in the belly band, not ready for maternity clothes just yet! ;)

This week has been a strange one for me. I've felt a lot of sadness, fear, and guilt.. For lots of reasons and some of them don't need to be named. I am definitely feeling emotional, and according to Jake I've liked picking fights lately. ;) So sorry babe! I'm trying so hard not to take the burden of life and those I love and care about on my shoulders, but huge parts of me feel it. I have friends that I absolutely adore going through fertility issues. I have friends asking to make plans in the near and far future and I've been a TOTAL flake, I have a family torn in a million different directions and a brother coming home to a completely different family dynamic, my sister/best friend going through a divorce, work is the busiest it has been in years, and we are converting to a new system in June (great!) and my boss mentioned today that I can't ever have a baby (jokingly of course!), and a 7 year old who won't stop growing up! Just lots of things weighing on my mind that I wish I could fix. I know that these people will be so happy for me and support me 110%, but a part of my heart hurts with theirs. Here I am having a baby, and they are going through all of these hard and awful things. It makes me sad!

I've also felt really alone.. Now I'm going to be BRUTALLY honest here, and as I'm typing this I haven't been able to think of the right words to say to Jake about why I've become so distant with him. I worried about this before marrying him, and its nothing HE'S done. Just my own weird woman feelings. But I kind of feel like I'm bugging him when I talk about the pregnancy lately. And really, I don't talk about it a whole lot. He rarely brings it up anymore, other than to make sure I'm eating, feeling okay, not pushing it too hard in our cycling class, etc. this is in NO way a bash on him. It's just one of those moments where I feel like he's 'been there, done that'.. and this is all so new to me. None of this makes sense to anyone else, I'm sure.. and that's okay! These are feelings I have and getting them 'out' in whatever sense I can has always been my therapy. And the truth is, he HAS been there and done that.. And without that I wouldn't have Kailee or her mom in my life and for that I am SO grateful.. But I do feel alone. Most of that, I'm sure is that no one knows yet, and now we've known for almost 8 weeks. I guess I just want to have someone I can turn to, and say 'is this normal?'. I know soon I will, and I'm really looking forward to that day! Until then, I am so thankful for Jake and how loving and caring he is, and maybe it's me who needs to open up more about it. He takes such good care of me, he really does. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was REALLY excited to have a woman to talk to about all of this! :) I guess more than alone, I feel like I'm hiding from people and situations, and that is SO not me!!  I'm normally such an open book so this has been strange!

To those of you who've asked and I've brushed it off, or straight up LIED, I'm SO sorry!! There have been many of you. I feel so guilty about it! I hope someday you all understand with the chaos in our lives, we've kind of wanted to, and needed to keep this to ourselves until we know everything is okay not just with baby, but with LIFE! Our next appointment is a week from today, and I will officially be out of that first trimester, and then I promise.. NO MORE LYING! :) I love you all, and I know you all love me too and will be so happy for us, despite what may be going on in your own lives. And for that, I can't thank you enough! It takes a big heart and a mature person to look past their own hurt and situation and be happy for someone else. So, thank you! For being patient, for being understanding and for loving us no matter what! :)

To end this what turned into quite the depressing blog post, I am beyond thrilled, elated and blessed to be pregnant with this baby! To think, God is trusting ME with a human being and to be someone's full time mommy? It still blows me away and brings a tear to my eye! I am so happy and so excited for our little family and our future! All things that are worth it, are scary! This baby will be one of the biggest blessings of so many lives, and for that, I am beyond thankful! I get butterflies every day when I look in the mirror and for the first time, feel that there is someone else with me at all times. I love the feeling I get when I'm laying in bed and I put my hand on my tummy and KNOW that there is a baby in there. Someone who will someday call me mommy, and that makes my heart happier than I could ever put in to words on a blog! I am so so so very happy and excited for the next year of life for our little family! I'm so excited for Jake to be a daddy again, for Kailee to be a big sister, for so many things! It's going to be an amazing year!!