Saturday, October 27, 2012

Our time with A&A and boys!

Whats going on in our lives..

Last Sunday (now 2 Sundays ago).. Ahhh.. Best day! I had to hold this surprise in for over a month! THAT was tough! Aaron and Aubrey and boys were coming to town!! We’ve missed them SO much, and although they’ve only been gone since July, it felt like eternity! Aaron was going to be in town for work for the week, and it so happened to work out that the family could join him! Aubrey let me in on the surprise so I could help coordinate getting everyone to Sunday dinner for the big surprise.. Which turned out to be a little
harder than expected.. I ended up having to tell Jake the Friday before so he could help get his brothers
and their families there without me blowing cover. I am not a very good liar, apparently, but he was able
to use his ‘older brother’ voice and get them all there. ;) They may or may not have thought we were announcing a new baby.. but it worked! ;) SO much fun to see everyone’s faces light up when Aaron, Aubrey and the boys pulled up! We all miss them so much and it was so nice (AND NORMAL!) to have a loud and crazy family dinner! I swear, time flies in every aspect other than their 3 year stint in Washington. Is it over yet?! Ugh. Love that girl and missed her fun family! It was nice to get to sit at the table with my other 3 S-I-L’s and chat… not like we don’t do that without Aubrey, but its just not the same. I remember the first few family dinners.. didn’t really know my place yet.. Wasn’t comfortable enough yet to sit with the girls, so I floated between the kids and Jake. Now, we park our bums on the kitchen table and laugh, vent, yell at the screaming/running kids, sometimes cry, and just enjoy each others company! It’s the best.. the guys are usually in the front room watching whatever game is on, or playing their guitars and singing.. And the kids are running wild with Grandma on their heels ;) I know a lot of people don’t enjoy their time with their in-laws, which makes me sad. I can honestly and genuinely say, I look forward to the 2nd Sunday of every month! We all have our quirks, right?! Love my Andrus time and I’m blessed to have 4 guys I consider brothers and 3 new sisters who are also my friends! Aubrey, thanks for being our ‘leader’.. It just isn’t the same without you. Your glow, your sweet laugh, and your crazy boys! We miss you so much! Washington is sure lucky to have the 5 of you, but they only get 3 years. We want you back!! Xo

We had a busy week ahead and a fun night planned with the A&A clan.. We decided to hit the corn
maze on Wednesday and were so glad to squeeze in an extra night while they were in town. Kailee had a
blast with ‘her boys’, as she called them and was so excited to show them her Hello Kitty room. I’m sure
they were super impressed! ;) They played and we all scarfed some pizza and had a nice chat, then off to
the corn maze. Kailee insisted on holding Evan’s hand.. That is after she realized that we weren’t lying..
this was NOT the haunted corn maze ;). It was so cute to watch Evan be so patient with her. She loves
those boys a lot! Makes me happy! We finished the maze in record time and decided it wouldn’t be a complete night with out some ice cream, so we ended our night at Leatherbys. My first time!! YUM! My belly was a little achy, so I didn’t get to enjoy it like I normally would.. meaning I didn’t eat a HUGE ice cream and THEN pick at Kailee and Jakes ;), but it was still fantastic and I can’t wait to go back! Kailee also had a yummy hot chocolate and she thought that was the coolest thing ever!! She really is the cutest!!

Thanks again for a great ‘extra’ night. We sure love you guys and miss you like CRAZY! So glad to have
you as family! And Kailee’s right.. “Why do they have to live at Washington”? ;) Okay, okay.. we’ll be
patient.. But our countdown is on until the end of December! Love you all!

Sunday, October 14, 2012

One Year Anniversary

Jake and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary on the 24th of September. Can I just say, that was the fastest year! And I have a feeling it’s just going to go faster from here! I could go on and on and on and on and on about how wonderful my husband is. A lot of times, I do. I get sappy, I get spoiled, and I want to shout out to the world that this is REAL! This kind of happiness exists! Our real life fairytale!

Don’t get me wrong, I do not live a life of denial. Marriage is hard.. its work.. and its hard work EVERY SINGLE day. There are days when I am pretty dang unlovable. And he loves me anyway. There are days I want to punch him in the face, he isn't very lovable either. But I love him anyway..To me, that is a fairytale. Someone that you know EVERYTHING about (and I mean EVERYTHING!) and you still love them anyway. On good days and bad. Through ups and downs. On our worst days, and on our best. When things are hard and when things are easy. We just love each other!

We were able to have the day off for our anniversary so the night before we went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner and spent our day sleeping in, shopping, and best of all Kailee's school carnival. It was a perfect day!

This next part is for Jake and I. I want to remember all the little things I love about him on the hard days. And I want him to know how much I love all of these things about him on the days when I’m not very loveable ;) On days where the stress is sky high, on days where I feel lonely or down because I miss my family and friends from home, the days where I’m super emotional and NOTHING satisfies me. The days where I’m tired and I’ve given as much as I can give and I break. The days where I let the little things bother me. The days when I have a hard time prioritizing all that I need to do. On the days I feel bad for myself. On the days where I have a hard time communicating.. I could go on and on.. I am FULL of flaws. Thank you for loving me through them all.. and if there is ever a day where you wonder about your decision to marry me.. I hope you read this and remember all the things I love about YOU!

I love that he has to touch me when he sleeps. I love that he tells me thanks for dinner every night before bed. I love that he calls me sugar. I love that he holds EVERY door open for me ALL the time. I love how he says my name. I love that he doesn’t let me move or carry anything that is even remotely heavy. I love that he goes to the grocery store with me. I love that he LOVES my cooking. I love that he makes me feel different, still. I love that he makes me want to be better. I love that he keeps me grounded. I love waking up to his baby lotion cheeks. I love that he is such a good dresser. I love that he compliments me at least once every day. I love that he calls me every morning before he gets his day started. I love that he makes me text him every morning when I make it to work. I love that I can wear ZERO make up, pull my hair up and have stinky breath and he STILL makes me feel beautiful. I love that he texts me just to say he’s thinking of me. I love that he has so much drive for better and more. I love that he is such an amazing daddy. I love that he will do anything and everything I ask him to help with. I love that he is a hands on dad. I love that he surprises me all the time. I love that he listens when I need to vent. I love that he smells so good all the time. I love that his shoes have to match. I love his 60+ hats. I love his watch collection. I love the way he talks. I love it when he giggles. I love that he makes me laugh. I love that  every day I have someone who can’t wait to see me. I love his hugs. I love his hands. I love that he always holds my hand in the car. I love that he always puts his hand on my leg. I love how he sticks up for me. I love how he plays with Kailee. I love how he looks at me when we’re fighting disagreeing and I can tell he’s sorry. I love his sweet kisses. I love how he answers when I call him. I love how we hate being apart. I love how easily our hearts opened up to each other. I love how much he loves sports. I love going to BYU games with him. I love that he introduced me to the Braves (and really Major League baseball). I love that he shares so many hobbies with me. I also love that we can have our own hobbies. I love that he loves my family. I love that he can’t wait to come home to me everyday after work. I love that he secretly hates my girls nights, only because he misses me. I love that he is so excited to have a baby again someday. I love how he rubs my back and feet EVERY time I ask him to. I love that he plays with the hair on his knuckles. I love that he is proud of me. I love that he cares enough to work on things he knows make me sad. I (secretly) love that he teases me. I love how he tells Kailee how much he loves her. I love that he is such a hard worker. I love that he is so active. I love that he plays football twice a year and has to match from his socks to his gloves and EVERYTHING in between. I love that he spoils me. I love that he texts me when anything good or bad happens during his day. I love that he says sorry anytime he’s wrong. And even when he’s not. I love how much he loves and cares about his brothers. I love that he loves to make people laugh. I love how he can make ANYONE feel comfortable. I love how good he makes me feel. I love that he keeps me warm. I love his amazing voice. I love when he plays the guitar and sings for me while I’m in the bath tub. I love that he will kill spiders, even though he’s scared of them too. I love how safe he makes me feel. I love that he doesn’t talk badly about others. I love his sense of humor. I love that he does the laundry most of the time. I love his patience. I love that he helps me clean up after dinner. I love that he will vacuum any time I ask and sometimes when I don’t because he knows how much I love ‘lines’ in the carpet. I love the way he cracks his knuckles before he gets out of bed. I love how fast he falls asleep. I love that he takes the trash out without me ever having to ask. I love that he is so thoughtful. I love the little notes he leaves for me. I love that I trust him more than I’ve trusted anyone else in my life. I love that he trusts me just as much. I love that we can be our WHOLE selves around each other. I love that we are more in love now that we’ve ever been. I love that we have learned (and are still learning) how to communicate. I love that kiss he gives me that takes my breath away. Not the rushed kiss.. the real one! Even though I’ll take all his kisses.. I REALLY love his kisses ;) I love that he is so understanding and patient with my crazy emotions. I love that he remember special days in my life, not just the big dates. I love that he always waits for me order first at restaurants. I love that he will call and order pizza because I HATE calling to do anything. I love that he reminds me every night to take my birth control. I love that he wants to make Kailee and I happy above anything else. I love him for bringing her into my life. I love him for giving me my very own family.

Jake – there are so many things I love about you. I didn’t even have to pause a second between the hundred things I just listed. I could go on all day. You are amazing. You are my best friend. You are my happiness and my strength. You are the reason life is so good. You are my future and the reason for my hard past. I got you, more than I ever could have hoped for. Thank you for loving me when I’m not lovable. For treating me with respect and always looking out for me. This has been the hardest and by far the best year of my life. I love you more than words could ever say, but I’ll die trying. I will spend each day for the rest of our lives proving to you how happy and proud I am to be your wife. You’ve given me more than I could have ever dreamed of having. Thanks for all you do for Kailee and I. For being the best daddy and husband we could ask for! Happy Anniversary to my sweetheart! I love you more than life itself! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life next to you! And these words I spoke one year ago, I will speak for the next 50. Our wedding vows mean more to me now than the did then. I love you baby! Thanks for everything you do! Xoxo

The day you walked into my life, I knew a lot of things. I knew that you were it.. I knew that THIS was it.. and I knew that I would never again be alone. This was finally the beginning of the rest of my life. The rest of OUR life. You, me and Kailee. Life was no longer about me. it quickly became, and forever will be, US. My search was over.
Jake, you are my best friend and my one true love. When I´m with you, I feel I can be the person I want to be, and I cannot imagine my life without you. You make me smile, you stick up for me, you take care of me and you are always interested in what I have to say and do. Today, I want to make a promise to you and to myself, in front of our friends and family, to love and honor, protect and respect you for the rest of my life.
I promise to encourage your individuality,
Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful.
I promise to nurture your dreams,
Because through them your soul shines brightest.
I promise to be next to you through all of our challenges,
Because through them we will become stronger.
I promise to share with you all the joys of this life,
Because together they will be that much sweeter.

Lastly, I promise to you… perfect love
For one lifetime with you could never be enough.

I love you, Jake.. and forever could never be long enough for me. Thanks for marrying me and making me the happiest girl alive! 

(some of my favorite pictures from my favorite day)

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

25 and feeling SO good!

Wow.. another year come and gone.. and I'm feeling like I am RIGHT where I want to be! Feeling incredibly blessed, happily married, best 5 year old, great job, and wonderful family and friends.. I am so so happy right now and so very content! Life is good!

25 things I thought I’d throw out there about myself. Things I’m learning.. my quirks.. goals..things I still don’t like about myself.. serious notes.. and some funny facts to keep it from getting TOO sappy ;) in no particular order..

1.       DREADING the fact that this year, my brother will leave us for 2. I can’t even think about it without the eyes filling with tears. UGH. I’m so selfish. I am definitely going to have to sneak to where ever he may be at least every other month and catch a peek of his cute face. He’s so fun right now. So happy and actually likes hanging out with us. He’s the cutest uncle and I can’t imagine having a baby without him around to love on him/her. Kids love Riley. I guess we’ll be waiting another 2 years ;)
 2.       Marriage.. is hard. Who forgot to tell me that we won’t LIKE each other everyday? ;) just kidding. Its the hardest, BEST thing I’ve ever done. I’m so in love and feel like the luckiest girl alive!
3.       I fell off the exercise bandwagon. Not sure how, I felt the best I’d ever felt.. and just stopped. It’s not easy folks! This year, I WILL get back into the shape I deserve to be in!
4.       Kailee has to be the funniest kid alive! No joke. Little girl CRACKS me up! Some of my recent favorites..
.       Every time we drive by the house in our neighborhood that has Utah flags out, she says “BOOOO!” :)
.      Told me the other day that I’ve GOT to do something about my hair. ‘It’s everywhere’ ;)
.       She LOVES making me laugh.. and sometimes, to the point daddy doesn’t like it (he’s telling her to stop, or trying to be serious)! Oops!
.      She gave me a sticker for being ‘a good teacher’ after I helped her with sight words. Made my heart smile!
.      She’s going to be the class clown ;) I’m telling you.. this kid has a TON of her daddy in her blood!
.        She makes my heart so dang happy! I can’t WAIT for Wednesdays and every other weekend!

5.       Growing up is kind of hard! I miss my friends! I hate living far away from them. Lord knows I’m NOT moving back to T-town, so  you girls are going to have to move down this way ;) In all seriousness, I miss driving across town (30 seconds) to their houses. Miss the chats, the walks.. borrowing clothes. All of it. I feel like I miss out on their kids lives, and they miss out on Kailee’s. Makes me really sad. But I know it’s part of it. doesn’t mean I like it ;)
6.       I am SO hard on myself.. still.. about finding time for all the people I want and need to find time for. I need to find a good balance.. I struggle with that a LOT. I want to be every where, all the time.. and I can’t be. Life just doesn’t slow down like I’d like it to!
7.       I am really missing my Aubrey. I never had an older sister, and I finally got one. And she had to move far away. BOO. ;) Missing you lots, Aubs! These next 2 years and 8 months better FLY!
8.       I LOVE where we live. We live in the basement of an older couples home. The NICEST, KINDEST people in the world! We were so blessed to find people who were trusting enough to open their basement to a strange couple like us ;) for as long as we’d like! No contracts, or weird agreements. Just trust. Kind of nice in this crazy world!
9.       I have been able to witness some pretty special people in my life ‘falling in love’. Makes me so happy! There is nothing like watching the people you care about, find what you always knew they deserved.
10.   I could eat either mashed potatoes, pasta, Chinese or macaroni and cheese every day of my life and be satisfied. or extremely overweight. Whatever! ;) I’ll pass on the sweets, send me the sodium, please! Hoping someday I will grow out of the mac-and-cheese phase, especially since it disgusts Jake. Ha ha
11.   My husband spoils me. like S-P-O-I-L-S me. kind of a lot. Between my birthday and anniversary, WOW! He’s the best!
12.   I can only picture myself having a baby girl. Is that weird? I can’t for the life of me picture a boy? Not that I’m pregnant.. but when I get pregnant, I wonder if that will change? All I can see is pink. And ruffles. And sparkles. And tu-tus. And hair bows. And lots and lots and lots of $$$$$. ;)
13.   I still like my job. Also still really, REALLY underpaid. Sigh. aren’t we all?!
14.   I got two of the cutest new nephews this last year. They are close in age and it is SO much fun to see them grow.. I love watching my sister be a mommy :) she’s a really good one and it makes me so proud!
 15.   I am STILL a BYU fan. Even though they break my heart and RUIN my birthday. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. UGH! Actually, I’m a much better loser than I used to be. Still don’t like it. Still MAYBE pout a little.
16.   I’m learning (yes babe, LEARNING) how to not over react to everything. Oh, my poor husband! Its getting better… slowly.
17.   I can’t shake this cappuccino lip gloss obsession. I’ve tried. I’ve tried the new bright and colorful lipstick. YUCK. Can’t do it! somehow, always fall back on the good ole Bonnebell lip gloss. My kids are going to make fun of me, huh?
18.   I may be a little biased, but I have stinkin’ cute nieces and nephews! SO much fun! And thee cutest kids! 5 nephews and 4 nieces. LOVE it!
19.   I made a pretty great friend.. 2 years ago, but the last year has been the best! So nice to chat with her about life, K-bug, boys, love and everything else. I know it’s pretty rare for our circumstance, but we love it! I feel incredibly lucky to have you, Ang :)
20.   I discovered the worlds best floor cleaner. Now I use it to clean almost everything! Love that there is no harsh smell and its incredibly cheap. It cleans things better than ANY expensive cleaner. Baking soda, BLUE Dawn dish soap and vinegar (with hot water of course). Try it. I can promise you, it will not disappoint!
21.   I get a lot of compliments on my make up..I have always loved doing it.. I think because I always watched my mom do hers when I was a little girl. I remember sitting on the floor in the bathroom and being completely fascinated by how good she was at it. Guess that’s where it came from?! But here’s my secret. I buy cheap EVERYTHING! Maybelline, Revlon, Cover Girl.. that’s as expensive as it gets for me! And works JUST fine! don’t tell ;)
22.   I have grown to LOVE baseball! Who knew?! And I feel it, going to be a special year for our Braves! They are KILLING it right now!
23.   I have a scarf obsession. I want to wear one every day of my life.
24.   I have found myself to be much more calm this last year. I am a bit more rational. I said a bit, not there yet. ;) Little things don’t bother me like they used to.. I don’t get caught up in little emotions. Still struggle at times, but I’m getting better! my husband is so very glad for this! I find myself having a lot more ‘good days’. Days where I am almost giddy because I’m so content. We’re still poor, still live in a basement apartment, still struggle with lots of things. But life is SO good all at the same time! I have SO much to be grateful for, and I’m so glad I’m starting to see things for the good that they bring, rather than the stress. I’m getting there!
25.   Every year I’m alive I learn and appreciate more about my mom. Isn’t that how it goes? It makes me really sad I didn’t ‘see it’ back when I lived with her. See all that she does/did for us. The jobs she hated, but stayed with so we could have a good life. The commute to Ogden every day. The hours she worked. The dinners she made. The expensive trips to the grocery store to feed a family of five. The way she made holidays so special. The vacations they took us on. The time she spent doing the things we liked to do. The sacrifice she made to do the things my dad liked to do. The games, dance recitals, practices… The school clothes from Buckle because we HAD to have name brands..all of it. Now that I’m the mom and wife, I choke up thinking about how selfish I was. I wasn’t ever ungrateful, I just didn’t really understand all that she did for us. I am so lucky to have my mom. She’s one of  my closest friends and confidants. I don’t know what I’d do without her example of love, unselfishness, and just the aura she brings anytime she’s around. My husband and Kailee think she’s the greatest thing to walk the earth, and so do I! I was lucky enough to have lunch with her last week. Just the two of us. I think I talked her ear off, I just miss her so much sometimes. It was one of those days I will forever cherish. I only hope to be half the mom and woman she is. I never gave her enough credit for all she did and went through. Now, she’s my hero!! LOVE my mom so much!

There are so  many things I love about my birthday. Not the presents or the cake.. But the whole season. The September feeling, I like to call it. Fall is in the air, football, cooler weather, and the holidays approaching. As I’ve gotten older  my actual ‘day’ has become less about what it is all about.. and its become more of a time for me to reflect on the year, get back on a schedule, and challenge myself to grow even more than the year before. Life is so great and so much fun right now. I have the greatest man alive as my husband. He’s my whole life. My strength, my drive to be more, my shoulder to cry on, my partner, my best friend, my EVERYTHING. I know it sounds so cliché and cheesy, but honestly, I couldn’t love him an ounce more. He has made my whole life better. He changed me. He was the first person to come into my life and reach my soul. I thank God everyday our paths lead us to each other. It was a rocky path, but I know I wouldn’t have been ready for him if I hadn’t faced those obstacles. So for the dark days, I am forever grateful.. They gave me Jake. Every hurt, fear, and heart break was worth it.. because I got him!

And Kailee… I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll be saying it the rest of forever.. she brought meaning to my life that I never EVER could have imagined. I never knew what a love like that felt like, until she was a part of my life. I want to keep her 5 forever.. I want her hugs and her sweet laugh everyday. I am so so proud to be her step mom and friend. I’m so proud as I watch her learn and grow. I am scared to death to be a parent some days. I don’t want to screw up because I know what she deserves.. and that’s EVERYTHING we can give her. Strength, dignity, courage, self esteem, respect for others, respect for herself, and most importantly, love… I feel like the lucky one in all of this. And baby girl, I want you to know, I never knew how much I loved your daddy until I saw how much he loved you! Thank you for letting me be family. I know its not always easy to live in 2 homes, but I know you know how much we all love you, and that everything we do is for you! Thanks for making me the happiest step mom on Earth!

Its been a great year and really, the best parts of life are just beginning for me.. Our families are growing all the time, and some day our own little family will grow. I can’t wait for that day! Until then, I am LOVING my two babes and I'm not sure life gets much better than this!