Tuesday, October 2, 2012

25 and feeling SO good!

Wow.. another year come and gone.. and I'm feeling like I am RIGHT where I want to be! Feeling incredibly blessed, happily married, best 5 year old, great job, and wonderful family and friends.. I am so so happy right now and so very content! Life is good!

25 things I thought I’d throw out there about myself. Things I’m learning.. my quirks.. goals..things I still don’t like about myself.. serious notes.. and some funny facts to keep it from getting TOO sappy ;) in no particular order..

1.       DREADING the fact that this year, my brother will leave us for 2. I can’t even think about it without the eyes filling with tears. UGH. I’m so selfish. I am definitely going to have to sneak to where ever he may be at least every other month and catch a peek of his cute face. He’s so fun right now. So happy and actually likes hanging out with us. He’s the cutest uncle and I can’t imagine having a baby without him around to love on him/her. Kids love Riley. I guess we’ll be waiting another 2 years ;)
 2.       Marriage.. is hard. Who forgot to tell me that we won’t LIKE each other everyday? ;) just kidding. Its the hardest, BEST thing I’ve ever done. I’m so in love and feel like the luckiest girl alive!
3.       I fell off the exercise bandwagon. Not sure how, I felt the best I’d ever felt.. and just stopped. It’s not easy folks! This year, I WILL get back into the shape I deserve to be in!
4.       Kailee has to be the funniest kid alive! No joke. Little girl CRACKS me up! Some of my recent favorites..
.       Every time we drive by the house in our neighborhood that has Utah flags out, she says “BOOOO!” :)
.      Told me the other day that I’ve GOT to do something about my hair. ‘It’s everywhere’ ;)
.       She LOVES making me laugh.. and sometimes, to the point daddy doesn’t like it (he’s telling her to stop, or trying to be serious)! Oops!
.      She gave me a sticker for being ‘a good teacher’ after I helped her with sight words. Made my heart smile!
.      She’s going to be the class clown ;) I’m telling you.. this kid has a TON of her daddy in her blood!
.        She makes my heart so dang happy! I can’t WAIT for Wednesdays and every other weekend!

5.       Growing up is kind of hard! I miss my friends! I hate living far away from them. Lord knows I’m NOT moving back to T-town, so  you girls are going to have to move down this way ;) In all seriousness, I miss driving across town (30 seconds) to their houses. Miss the chats, the walks.. borrowing clothes. All of it. I feel like I miss out on their kids lives, and they miss out on Kailee’s. Makes me really sad. But I know it’s part of it. doesn’t mean I like it ;)
6.       I am SO hard on myself.. still.. about finding time for all the people I want and need to find time for. I need to find a good balance.. I struggle with that a LOT. I want to be every where, all the time.. and I can’t be. Life just doesn’t slow down like I’d like it to!
7.       I am really missing my Aubrey. I never had an older sister, and I finally got one. And she had to move far away. BOO. ;) Missing you lots, Aubs! These next 2 years and 8 months better FLY!
8.       I LOVE where we live. We live in the basement of an older couples home. The NICEST, KINDEST people in the world! We were so blessed to find people who were trusting enough to open their basement to a strange couple like us ;) for as long as we’d like! No contracts, or weird agreements. Just trust. Kind of nice in this crazy world!
9.       I have been able to witness some pretty special people in my life ‘falling in love’. Makes me so happy! There is nothing like watching the people you care about, find what you always knew they deserved.
10.   I could eat either mashed potatoes, pasta, Chinese or macaroni and cheese every day of my life and be satisfied. or extremely overweight. Whatever! ;) I’ll pass on the sweets, send me the sodium, please! Hoping someday I will grow out of the mac-and-cheese phase, especially since it disgusts Jake. Ha ha
11.   My husband spoils me. like S-P-O-I-L-S me. kind of a lot. Between my birthday and anniversary, WOW! He’s the best!
12.   I can only picture myself having a baby girl. Is that weird? I can’t for the life of me picture a boy? Not that I’m pregnant.. but when I get pregnant, I wonder if that will change? All I can see is pink. And ruffles. And sparkles. And tu-tus. And hair bows. And lots and lots and lots of $$$$$. ;)
13.   I still like my job. Also still really, REALLY underpaid. Sigh. aren’t we all?!
14.   I got two of the cutest new nephews this last year. They are close in age and it is SO much fun to see them grow.. I love watching my sister be a mommy :) she’s a really good one and it makes me so proud!
 15.   I am STILL a BYU fan. Even though they break my heart and RUIN my birthday. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. UGH! Actually, I’m a much better loser than I used to be. Still don’t like it. Still MAYBE pout a little.
16.   I’m learning (yes babe, LEARNING) how to not over react to everything. Oh, my poor husband! Its getting better… slowly.
17.   I can’t shake this cappuccino lip gloss obsession. I’ve tried. I’ve tried the new bright and colorful lipstick. YUCK. Can’t do it! somehow, always fall back on the good ole Bonnebell lip gloss. My kids are going to make fun of me, huh?
18.   I may be a little biased, but I have stinkin’ cute nieces and nephews! SO much fun! And thee cutest kids! 5 nephews and 4 nieces. LOVE it!
19.   I made a pretty great friend.. 2 years ago, but the last year has been the best! So nice to chat with her about life, K-bug, boys, love and everything else. I know it’s pretty rare for our circumstance, but we love it! I feel incredibly lucky to have you, Ang :)
20.   I discovered the worlds best floor cleaner. Now I use it to clean almost everything! Love that there is no harsh smell and its incredibly cheap. It cleans things better than ANY expensive cleaner. Baking soda, BLUE Dawn dish soap and vinegar (with hot water of course). Try it. I can promise you, it will not disappoint!
21.   I get a lot of compliments on my make up..I have always loved doing it.. I think because I always watched my mom do hers when I was a little girl. I remember sitting on the floor in the bathroom and being completely fascinated by how good she was at it. Guess that’s where it came from?! But here’s my secret. I buy cheap EVERYTHING! Maybelline, Revlon, Cover Girl.. that’s as expensive as it gets for me! And works JUST fine! don’t tell ;)
22.   I have grown to LOVE baseball! Who knew?! And I feel it, going to be a special year for our Braves! They are KILLING it right now!
23.   I have a scarf obsession. I want to wear one every day of my life.
24.   I have found myself to be much more calm this last year. I am a bit more rational. I said a bit, not there yet. ;) Little things don’t bother me like they used to.. I don’t get caught up in little emotions. Still struggle at times, but I’m getting better! my husband is so very glad for this! I find myself having a lot more ‘good days’. Days where I am almost giddy because I’m so content. We’re still poor, still live in a basement apartment, still struggle with lots of things. But life is SO good all at the same time! I have SO much to be grateful for, and I’m so glad I’m starting to see things for the good that they bring, rather than the stress. I’m getting there!
25.   Every year I’m alive I learn and appreciate more about my mom. Isn’t that how it goes? It makes me really sad I didn’t ‘see it’ back when I lived with her. See all that she does/did for us. The jobs she hated, but stayed with so we could have a good life. The commute to Ogden every day. The hours she worked. The dinners she made. The expensive trips to the grocery store to feed a family of five. The way she made holidays so special. The vacations they took us on. The time she spent doing the things we liked to do. The sacrifice she made to do the things my dad liked to do. The games, dance recitals, practices… The school clothes from Buckle because we HAD to have name brands..all of it. Now that I’m the mom and wife, I choke up thinking about how selfish I was. I wasn’t ever ungrateful, I just didn’t really understand all that she did for us. I am so lucky to have my mom. She’s one of  my closest friends and confidants. I don’t know what I’d do without her example of love, unselfishness, and just the aura she brings anytime she’s around. My husband and Kailee think she’s the greatest thing to walk the earth, and so do I! I was lucky enough to have lunch with her last week. Just the two of us. I think I talked her ear off, I just miss her so much sometimes. It was one of those days I will forever cherish. I only hope to be half the mom and woman she is. I never gave her enough credit for all she did and went through. Now, she’s my hero!! LOVE my mom so much!

There are so  many things I love about my birthday. Not the presents or the cake.. But the whole season. The September feeling, I like to call it. Fall is in the air, football, cooler weather, and the holidays approaching. As I’ve gotten older  my actual ‘day’ has become less about what it is all about.. and its become more of a time for me to reflect on the year, get back on a schedule, and challenge myself to grow even more than the year before. Life is so great and so much fun right now. I have the greatest man alive as my husband. He’s my whole life. My strength, my drive to be more, my shoulder to cry on, my partner, my best friend, my EVERYTHING. I know it sounds so cliché and cheesy, but honestly, I couldn’t love him an ounce more. He has made my whole life better. He changed me. He was the first person to come into my life and reach my soul. I thank God everyday our paths lead us to each other. It was a rocky path, but I know I wouldn’t have been ready for him if I hadn’t faced those obstacles. So for the dark days, I am forever grateful.. They gave me Jake. Every hurt, fear, and heart break was worth it.. because I got him!

And Kailee… I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll be saying it the rest of forever.. she brought meaning to my life that I never EVER could have imagined. I never knew what a love like that felt like, until she was a part of my life. I want to keep her 5 forever.. I want her hugs and her sweet laugh everyday. I am so so proud to be her step mom and friend. I’m so proud as I watch her learn and grow. I am scared to death to be a parent some days. I don’t want to screw up because I know what she deserves.. and that’s EVERYTHING we can give her. Strength, dignity, courage, self esteem, respect for others, respect for herself, and most importantly, love… I feel like the lucky one in all of this. And baby girl, I want you to know, I never knew how much I loved your daddy until I saw how much he loved you! Thank you for letting me be family. I know its not always easy to live in 2 homes, but I know you know how much we all love you, and that everything we do is for you! Thanks for making me the happiest step mom on Earth!

Its been a great year and really, the best parts of life are just beginning for me.. Our families are growing all the time, and some day our own little family will grow. I can’t wait for that day! Until then, I am LOVING my two babes and I'm not sure life gets much better than this!

1 comment:

Aubrey A said...

I was totally unprepared for the shout out! It made me cry! Only 970 days left! Wohoo!

As for #25; I couldn't agree with you more. I remember calling my mom at one point and apologizing for the way I was as a teenager. I wasn't a bad girl, I was just a typical teenager blissfully unaware of ALL the things my mom did and put aside for me (and my siblings). It wasn't until I had some perspective that I was able to see it and appreciate it. I think that's how it's meant to be though.

I share your sentiments in regards to #22. Never really grew up with baseball. . .but now I LOVE it. :) And yes, the Braves have a VERY good chance this year!!

I too love your makeup. Never said it out loud, but I do. There.

#12--Of course you can only see yourself having a girl, you have a girl now. :) Your life is pink, ruffles, sparkles & tu-tus. I can't imagine life with a girl, but that's because I have nothing to go on. When you have your boys (hehe) things will even out. :)

As for #2: I always tell Aaron (when I'm mad at him) I love you right now, but I sure don't like you. Hehe. Even after 11 years we still have our days. This is truly the hardest relationship I've ever been in, but there are more than enough perks to make it all worth while. :) :)

LOVE YOU! Can't wait to see your next 25 years. :)