I have to get this all down before I forget too many of the details of truly the BEST. DAY. EVER! After the stress of the last few weeks, not wanting him to be born on Kailee's birthday, then needing him to hurry and get here before the baptism, it's nice to now just remember that time in our lives as the most amazing time that it truly was!
Wednesday, September 2nd 2015. My last day at work until November! I was strangely calm all day, I was excited but didn't feel overly anxious or stressed. I knew no matter what that TOMORROW my baby would be in my arms! The day went by pretty fast, we only worked until 2 pm and then it was off to get Kailee from the bus to spend some time with her. The only time I ever got emotional during my entire pregnancy it was about her.. I worried about EVERYTHING! How she was feeling, what she was thinking, how she was going to handle this change, how WE as parents to just one were going to handle this change.. everything that made me nervous revolved around our Kbug! I can now say, I worried too much. I over thought everything. I stressed WAY more than I needed, or was healthy. It was bad. It wasn't that I didn't give her credit, I knew she would be amazing as a sister, it was just a big change. Going from life and our time completely revolved around her, to now a baby too, it was just strange. I never wanted her to feel left out or like she was loved any less. We left Lehi (in tears) about 8 pm. I hugged her one more time as our only child, it was bittersweet! Then it was home to Riley and Cheyanne waiting for us, this sweet (almost) sister of mine offered to fill my lashes so they would be perfect for all the pictures that were sure to come in the next few days. She's the sweetest and best lash artist ever! Love her!
After lashes Riley and Chey left so Jake and I finished packing our hospital bags and climbed into bed about 11 pm. I was sure I wasn't going to be able to sleep, I mean, tomorrow I am having a BABY! Let me tell you what, going to bed knowing it was the last night I'd be pregnant, the last night I wouldn't be up with a new babe, the last night it was just Jake and I.. it was SO strange! But I crashed, waking only once to pee (again with no contractions - side eye) and fell right back to sleep. The alarm went off, and by habit I hit snooze. I rolled over only to be consumed with the most INSANE butterflies ever! I slipped out of bed and headed for the bath tub. I sat in there for a good 30 minutes. It was so quiet in the house, it was 4:30 am and I was surely the only one awake in the world, or so it felt. It was a peaceful, reflective few moments for me that I needed and now cherish. I prayed, I cried, I smiled, I got nervous, I got excited and I was a million other things all at once. It was my last morning with this belly I had grown to love, my last morning rolling out of bed like a walrus ;), my last quiet bath alone for at least a few years and it was special. I was adamant that I didn't want to be induced, but looking back and having that morning to myself and to be prepared was pretty nice!
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| I hated my stretch marks the moment I got them, and its not easy for me to share this picture. But I want to remember how beautiful I felt in that moment. Yoga pants, sports bra and a big ol' belly never felt more beautiful to me. Something special was sure to happen that day! |
I woke Jake up and we both got ready. The night before I was told to call the hospital to verify my check in time. They told me 7 am, but to call back about 6:30 to make sure they had room for me. I was certain I'd get ready and call and they'd tell me to come in at 4:00 pm, but that wasn't the case. 7:15 it was! I was so relieved to get a morning start! Since we were about 20 minutes away from Riverton Hospital we headed right out to the car and I remember squeezing Jake's hand as we walked out the gate and telling him it would be our last time walking out without a baby! We were both so excited, but again, pretty calm! Jake was hungry but I of course, had no appetite. We swung by McDonald's and grabbed breakfast and a coffee. I hardly drank my coffee because I was so worried about us being late. Looking back I would have forced myself to eat! It's a long day and I was hungry! ;) I am NEVER late, and here we were, late to induction! So funny after all the waiting we did, that me of all people would be late that day! We pulled up to the hospital about 7:20 and my dad and grandparents were already there! I tried telling them the night before not to come down until noon or so, but they weren't having it! They were too excited too! I remember very clearly the walk from the car to the front doors. I was ready to do this! I was SO ready for my baby boy to be here! We hit the elevators and I pressed the button for the 3rd floor, Labor and Delivery. This was it! It was time! No more waiting, no more wondering.. this was it! FINALLY!
I walked in to be greeted by my grandparents and dad and then it was in to the nurses station to check in. I gave all my info and they put the hospital bracelet on me. Suddenly it was all becoming so real! I had the sweetest two nurses, that sadly for the life of me, I can not remember either of their names. One was a middle aged nurse, she had worked L&D for years. She was so sweet. The other girl was young, absolutely GORGEOUS and it was her first day! I was her first patient! She had just been hired into L&D and I was going to be her first birth as a nurse, of course she had witnessed others, but the first she was able to 'participate' as a full time nurse and not in training! Of course this young, beautiful girl was going to watch me push out a baby! That wasn't intimidating or anything! ;) Funny how long that lasted.. a whole 10 minutes! After that I am pretty sure 34534 people saw my whoo-haw and I didn't care in the slightest!
I was Group B Strep positive so I had to be on an antibiotic 4 hours prior to the doctor breaking my water. Dr Nichols came in about 8:15 on his way to the office and checked me. I was still at a 2+ but i was 100% thinned. I was a little disappointed to not be further along, but that's what I was there for! They started the pitocin about 8:45. Dr Nichols told me he'd be back on his lunch break to break my water! The family started rolling in and the next few hours were full of family and contractions! Stephanie showed up, then my mom, Riley and Cheyanne, and Lindsay. It was so nice to have so much support! They had a rule, only 4 visitors at a time in the room (besides dad). But they were so great about the big family and letting people come in and out!
I wanted to hold off on the epidural as long as possible. Oh, don't get me wrong, I wanted it! But just wanted to feel the contractions a little. Call me crazy! I didn't want to become so numb that I had cement legs. I started feeling pretty strong contractions by 10 am, and after breathing through the most painful 7 seconds, the pain would subside until the next one. They were about 5 minutes apart at that time. At 11:00 I was done being tough and ready to be comfortable so I called the nurse and told her I was ready. She checked me and I was a 4 and then called for the anesthesiologist. I was SO nervous for the epidural and was warned by the nurse not to wait too long to ask for it as he sometimes is a little while before he can get to me. The anesthesiologist was in the room in 5 minutes! I was shocked! We found out during our 15 minutes with him that he was a big Y fan, and actually headed out to Nebraska the next morning for the game. We talked football while I looked at Jake begging him not to look at the needle, I swear I was more nervous to watch Jake see it, than I was to actually get it! He held me tight and kept telling me not to be scared. I felt the numbing pokes, but just barely. He told me to hold still, but we were still talking football and the next thing I knew, I heard wrappers behind me. I couldn't believe it! I was done already! I did say 'wow, are you already done?!" and he was quick to say he was. I told him I loved him and that he was my favorite person ( I really did! haha ) and was SO relieved to have that done and to not have felt a THING! I went numb pretty quickly but could still lift my legs a little. PERFECT! I enjoyed the next hour or so with family and in NO pain. It was fun to watch the contractions on the screen and not feel them ;)
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| After epidural ;) |
Our morning had gone about as perfect and smooth as you could possibly hope for. I heard them call Dr. Nichols right at noon and tell him I was ready. I was progressing well, and now that I had the antibiotic for the 4 hours, I was good to have my water broken! He came over and broke it about 12:45 pm. In the room at the time it was him and the two nurses. He broke my water (SO weird) and told me he'd see me tonight for baby time! He was chatting with the nurse and suddenly they all stopped and watched the monitor. Our perfect morning was about to take a scary turn. One I will never ever forget. The silence alone was deafening. The looks on their faces as they looked at each other and then the monitor and back to each other was absolutely horrifying. Dr Nichols put gloves back on and came back to my side. He started pushing on my belly. He then said "the baby's heart rate has dropped. we need to get it back up" Then quickly looked at the nurse and said "stop the pit and get her oxygen". In two seconds she strapped the oxygen on me and I was in tears. I had no idea what was going on, but I was so scared! I had spent a lot of time with this man over the last 8 months. Most of our appointments lasted much longer than the check up because he was always chatting and telling Jake and I funny stories. This doctor now, was all business. It made me even more nervous to see the complete change in his demeanor. It was probably only a minute or two, but it felt like an eternity. The next thing I knew there was another nurse in the room and he yelled to have Dr Something be ready. Guessing now the anesthesiologist in OR. He looked and Jake and I and said "guys, we've got to get your baby out". I cried and said "yes, okay whatever we need to do". They pulled out the scrubs for Jake and in 2 seconds were ready to send me off for an emergency c-section. He then reached up (TMI) and pushed around hard. I didn't feel much (THANK YOU EPIDURAL) but my whole bottom half of my body moved off the bed. Slowly, the beeping stopped and our sweet boy's heart rate started to climb. At that point there were several people in the room all staring at the monitors. It was still quiet and again, probably just a few moments but felt like eternity. He explained that when my water broke, baby slid down and must have gotten the cord wrapped around his neck. With the pushing he did, he was able to get it off somehow. I cried and cried and thanked him a million times. He put the wire monitor on baby's head to closer monitor the heart rate and told me he would be back later on to see how I was doing. Slowly everyone left the room and Jake and I just sat quietly for a moment wondering what had just happened. After that, my body was shaking uncontrollably and I was a bit nauseous. The family slowly came back in and retelling that story as each walked in my room made me realize how blessed I was to still be sitting there, and to have my sweet boy's heart at a healthy rate. It was awful! I think my nerves and the shock is what made me so nauseous and all I remember for the next hour or so was Cheyanne rubbing my feet and my mom giving me peppermint oil under my tongue to help with the nausea while my body shook constantly. It took about an hour but I finally stopped shaking and felt okay again. The family all decided to head down to grab drinks and a snack around 2 pm after my last check (I was a 6). Jake and I sat quietly and pretty soon, the pressure became unbearable.. I pushed my epidural drip for the first time, waited a few minutes and no change. After toughing it out for what felt like forever, Jake finally called the nurse and told her I was in some pain. She came in and decided to check me. She asked the younger nurse to do it this time. She did and said 'umm I think she's like an 8?". I was glad to be progressing so quickly and remember Jake saying 'good job baby, that was fast!'. Then the other nurse decided to check as well since she had been the only one checking me before. She giggled and said "Oh she's not an 8, she's a 10. That isn't the side of the cervix you feel, that is baby's head!" I was so relieved that I wasn't being a big pansy about it! It was time! She had me start a few practice pushes and let me know that 'pressure/pain' wasn't going anywhere until the baby was born! It was time!
My family returned sometime after that and walked in the door only to be yelled at by the nurse to get out! I can still hear her say 'everyone out, she is pushing!". I think they were shocked as well. This was about 3 or so. I pushed for what felt like an eternity (about an hour) and then was told to STOP pushing or this baby was coming before the doctor could get there! There were a few times my body literally was pushing itself and I was trying to stop it! It was so crazy! I remember one nurse telling the other nurse to tell Dr Nichols to hurry, and a few moments later telling him he didn't have time to scrub up. This baby was coming out!
Seeing Dr Nichols sit at the end of my bed was one of the best and most comforting feelings I can remember! I was instantly calm. I pushed through 2-3 contractions and very clearly remember looking up at Jake feeling absolutely exhausted and he told me to keep going, he could see his head! I could just tell (and feel) that he was right there! Another push or two and we would meet our son! That final push came and out came our sweet, perfect, healthy baby boy. I knew in that moment my life was forever changed!
They placed him on my chest and all I could do was cry and say "hi baby" over and over again. He wasn't crying yet, so they didn't give me too much time before pulling him away. Jake walked over with him to the tiny station where I heard my baby boy cry for the first time! It was the greatest sound! I looked down at my arm to see poop all over, hello mommy life! That was fast! ;)
It felt like eternity before he was back on my chest, though I'm sure it was less than 3 minutes. I don't know how to ever put those moments into words other than it was the greatest day of my life.. Looking at my sweet boy and my amazing husband, and knowing I couldn't love either of them any more than I did in that very moment. It was incredible. 8lbs 6 oz 21 inches long and a perfectly healthy baby boy! A very BIG baby boy! :)
I told the nurses I was ready for my family, and I had left strict instructions that a special little girl be the first to enter the room. She walked in with the biggest smile on her face, and THAT was the moment my heart burst! My family, ALL of us together! She kissed his head and didn't stop smiling! It was truly a moment I will never forget. She was already so sweet with him. Then it was Grandma and the rest of the family in to see our little man. They were all smitten with him!
The nurse kindly told us that if I wanted to nurse, in the first hour of life was the best time to try. I am so thankful for her, she helped me get started and that sweet boy nursed like a champ! The hold she taught me was a bit uncomfortable, so after she left the room a few minutes later I switched sides and more comfortable positions. He nursed for 40 minutes! YAY! I was so extremely relived and proud of him! Those moments were so special and some I will forever cherish! The nurse walked back in and was amazed that we had not only switched sides by ourselves but that he was properly latched and still eating! Go baby boy! He loves food as much as mommy and daddy! ;)
The family was told they could meet us in the recovery room. After gathering all of our things, it was time to leave L&D and head to recovery with our perfect nameless baby! I held him as they wheeled me down to the room and stared at his sweet face the entire time! He was mine, Jake and I created this tiny human that would forever change our lives! I would relive that day and those moments a million times if I could.. I'm not quite sure how anyone who has experienced a miracle of bringng a child into this world could ever question if there is a God. It was the most amazing, spiritual, and emotional moments of my life and without question, divine! Welcome to the world, baby boy. Mama already loves you SO much!
